[ Me ]
Nickname: Ursula
Birthday: 7th January 1985
Zodiac: Capricorn
Where From: Singapore
Laidback, sensitive, fickle, easily-tickled, fiercely loyal
Manga and anime lover, enthusist, collector and critic/ Coffee lover, addict and expert maker/ Aspiring future wife of famous culinary chef/ Aspiring future wife of a 1.8m tall hunk
My Friendster link:
http://www.friendster.com/vivis
[ Likes ]
Sleeping, dancing, books, manga, anime, chocolates, coffee, Jap food, Italian food, Ayumi Hamasaki, people, my sister
[ Fave Books ]
Harry Potter series, Artemis Fowl series, The Inheritence Trilogy series, The Da Vinci Code, Memoir of a Geisha, I Don't Know How She Does It... and all my comics n manga!!!
[ Currently Reading ]
Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell
by Susanna Clarke
Inkheart
by Cornelia Funke
The Well Of Loneliness
by Radclyffe Hall
Midnight's Children
by Salman Rushdie
Madame Sadayakko: The Geisha Who Seduced The West
by Lesley Downer
The Unbearable Lightness Of Being
by Milan Kundera
The Historian
by Elizabeth Kostova
[ The Wishlist ]
My Amazon.com Wishlist:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/ref=yourlists_pop_1/103-2401787-9502236
Phillips MC235 Thin Stereo Microsystem
Kathy Van Zeeland bag
(saw on amazon.com going for bout US$65... Why dun Singapore stock her goods??! >.< I wan it in Topaz colour~!!!)
The Lord of the Rings
by J.R.R. Tolkien
Inu-Yasha Theme Song Collection
12 Kingdoms/ Juuni Kokuki anime VCD sets
GUESS bag (darn, i dun have the $120 required to buy it now and i noe it'll be gone soon, Guess always changing their apparels every month or so u_u)
DKNY gold and crystal-studded watch (very ornamental, more a dress watch then an every-funtion watch. still, pretty~)
Mphosis pale gold SLIPPERS (i run through my shoes and slippers like they cost nth X/)
The BodyShop BLUSHER in Golden Pink
The BodyShop blusher BRUSH
Shiseido eyelash CURLER
Full-length wall MIRROR(s) for my room
A new big every-purpose BAG
Pretty SHOES
A Digital CAMERA
A bloody new PC or laptop with the speed of light and a gazillion GB of memory!! =[
The Sims 2 (PC game edition)
[ The Memories ]
Thursday, August 14, 2003
Messed up...
very tiring day...
was feeling so messed up just now.
frustrated over everything... my home, my life, my studies.
times like this makes me understand y pple wanna commit suicide. esp the 2 (now 3) JC students' reasons to wanna die and jus let go of everything. its a feeling of overwhelmingness, hopelessness and helplessness. a sudden impulsive feeling that comes surprisingly fast but goes away slowly only in trickles. a scary feeling...cos i'd never tot i'd feel this way before.
reading the newspaper (straits times) for news of Yan Wen, but...zilch. nothing. zero.
is her death so insignificant that it doesn't even render some space in the newspaper??
only noe from tianxin that she made the chinese evening paper last nite...smth equivalent of a tabloid.
is that wat the media think it is?? nth more than a sensational piece of news? doesn't it worry society wat singapore's pressurizing educational system is resulting in?? the THIRD (known) JC student suicide case in bout a month. it shd have shocked pple, like it shocked us. but obviously the media is jus seeing it as a trend. n the media obviously represents the viewpts of society. so wat in their opinion did they think we students are?? barking mad to jump off a building jus cos we noe that others do it?? i dunno wat adults must be thinking, or wat ambitions our enterprising govt has in store for us "youths of singapore's tml" that they tot by cramming us with so much stress and pressure can achieve. it may be working, but at wat expense?!
fucking govt, fucking world, fucking MOE.
or issit jus a fucked up singapore??
maybe my mother was rite...the singapore govt is jus getting worst.
dun wan to sem like making accusations (or vulgarities) w/o any valid reasons or evidence.
but isn't the 3 (or more) suicides evidence enuf??
how many more do they need to see that the fucking MOE's method of cultivating "intelligent and promising" youths are getting overboard? studies isn't, and shouldn't be everything in a student's life. nor are exams and certs. yeah, the govt may argue that they put emphasis on co-curiculum activities (CCAs) too, but in the end wat are CCAs for?? so that we can be promoted to the next higher level of education too. in the end it all boils down to studies. wat the fuck?!
nearly tored the farking newspaper jus now. shaking wif the need to unleashmy pent-up anger. but ration prevented me from doing that. yeah...thanks for drilling ration into me for 12 years singapore *sneer*
went to smoke to find a release for my pent up emotions jus now, or in any case, to relax my seething tots.
(HAR! thats wat YOUR 12 years of drilling has resulted in! ~.~)
while i was smoking and still seething, ian msged me.
his msgs have a way of making me feel better, tho he may not noe it.
but he wun be coming to sch tml...gotta go NUH check up...
will miss him in sch tml =/
n still gotta face jjl's black face tml sia. the stupid woman.
since when's been my attendence for HER lesson poor??
HER attendence to sch n classes as even more abysmal compared to mine or any other students!
the stupid hippo.
yar yar, can c my mood havent changed for the better.
gotta go smoke somemore before i sleep.
smoked alot today...compared to my usual dosage.
haha, n glo was asking me to stop too.
she wrote me a letter today...very sweet of her.
glad to have her in my class... at least have someone who noes my inner voice.
someone i can trust wif my dirty linen =p
may be going for Yan Wen's funeral wif xiang tml...
tho i dunno all those Christian stuff and all that crap ('that' as in my limited knowledge of the Bible studies, no offence to Christians out there), i hope that Yan Wen will be able to enter the gates of Paradise and finally find the freedom she's looking for...
God bless you, Yan Wen
(which ever God u used to believe in)
you've been a really nice gal.
you will be missed...
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 12:00 AM
