[ The Memories ]
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
angel sanctuary
Which deadly sin do you represent? (Angel Sanctuary Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
oooooohh... got this quiz from glo's blog...
took the quiz jus cos of the pic :)
angel sanctuary~!!! the art is absolutely gorgeous i tell u!!
but the manga is pretty morbid n soooo cheem =l
anyway, those are my vices. sound familiar?? =/
ok, more angel sanctuary quizzez below... ;p
So you're a female angel reincarnated as a man.
Big deal! You've got a few problems... like
loving your own sister, and you have everyone
depending on you for the fate of heaven and
hell. But look on the bright side, you're hot,
sexy, and everyone likes ya.
What Angel Sanctuary Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are Setsuna! Confused about who you really are,
all you know is what your true wish is...to be
with your true love Sara! You are kinda a horny
guy underneath it all but your heart is in the
right place.
What Angel Sanctuary character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are Setsuna Mudo. He would do anything for his
forbidden love Sara Mudo, his sister. He tries
to take the right desicions always and to help
others. His real identity is the Messiah.
What Angel Sanctuary Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
oh man... 3 quizzez and still the same answer??
i swear i'm not incestuos!!!
(setsuna is the main character in angel sanctuary btw... poor kid with the hots for his sister... dark, forbidden love... dark history...dark pastlife... yadar yadar... no wonder i kept getting the same results -.- *roll eyes* )
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 10:27 PM
Sunday, October 26, 2003
Last nite of chiong before examz
oooohh... i found fiona xie on frenster *raise eyebrows*
linked to her from huishi (aka huishi's 'fren').
n guess wats on her profile?? she's interested in 'meeting' men and women for dating n serious relationship.
the whole world is jus full of les n gays man.
not surprised since we saw her that nite at zouk (did i mention??) wif those crowd n she kept staring at huishi?? yup.
ok lar, huishi is pretty attention-grabbing, but still... think the huishi mentioned that she kept flirting wif the guys n butches (??) there (since i din see ani butch, but yeah, she was dancing n flirting pretty outrageously). oh, n did i mention that she smokes too??
nah, if i'm surprised at anything, its that she actually puts that 'men n women' info on her profile. even i din do that (change after some time when i see that my 'frens' are increasing in numbers n its too scandalous). n she's an actress who's gets a lot of exposure...
oh anyway, better blog abit on fri nite.
yup, had fun that nite :)
the three of us (stella, xiang n i) went down bt first.
huishi n lay hoon came down find me at bout 10.30pm then the three of us went down waterbar for awhile cos hoon has to leave early by 11.30.
but waterbar was still pretty quiet at that time, no one on the dancefloor sia. after stoning ard for some time, we saw lay hoon off n i brought huishi back to bt.
hmmm...chatted abit wif huishi on the way.
apparently she jus broke wif her ex ytd?? aiyoh...
n she told me they'd been quarrelling by sms since jus now =/
tot they mite patch since thats always the case, but huishi said this time wun le, she sick n tired of her ex n all their quarrels le.
still to see i guess... ou3 duan4 si1 lian2 (chinese proverb to say that even when a relationship ends, there'll still be strands of feeling n tots that link the two). relationship this kinda thing cant be jus solved logically since it involves matters of the heart. n its not so easy to reach a final conclusion in matters of the heart.
had a good time in bt.
paired up wif huishi to play against xiang n stella in pool n table soccer.
then later return to our 'kids' corner' to play our childish games... uno stacko n stuff =p ahaha.
was afraid i'll neglected huishi, cos she's the onli 'outsider' there so spent more time n paid more attention to her.
but ok lar, even stella n xiang finds that she's quite nice n easy-going.
good i guess :)
hmmm...but she left early to go waterbar again wif her fren (called scorpian...wat kinda nick is that??) cos she(scorpian) was alone.
but waterbar was still un-happening when they reached there bout 12.30am, then scorpian suggested they go monks (at mohd sultan) find her frens instead =/
yeah... dissapointed that she left early i guess...
was afraid its cos i'd neglected her or wat that she felt left out.
but clarified wif her the next morning when we played sms that its cos scorpion's alone thats y she accompanied her. heng its not cos i bore her away.
hmmm...din leave a good impression of scorpion man.
aside from being so cho lor (rough n unladylike) n so cocky, she actually asked us (in that loud, showy, racuous voice of hers) to go waterbar leh, in front of ben (bt's boss)?? wtf.
n ben was like (according to xiang, cos i din see) giving this sad look when he heard that...oh man...
the fucked up gal. came in a few seconds each time onli n made such fucking big trouble for us already.
guess no one really understands how important bt is to us lo.
(aside from stella, n the two of us of cos).
visiting, or letting them noe that we're visiting other pubs is a big etiquette no-no lor. dun say jus in bt, in other pubs oso. n this fucking ugly gal jus comes in n blows us all off n n hurt the feelings of the management while she's at it. fucking ingenious huh?? no brains if u ask me. fucked up.
hmmm...but cos of this, we stayed longer at bt than we initially intended to. intended to leave at 12.30 or so one (thats when waterbar's happy hr starts). but in the end left bt at 2am instead (when they're nearly closing).
think ben was quite touched or wat...
he actually treated us his drinks when our beers had finished...asked us to drink from his glass instead (cos we were playing games, loser had to drink). n cos the games proceed to fast, mrs. chua refilled his galss do many times too...
gan dong...
its not a practice at bt to treat customers lor.
prob cos they knew we really not much money le n that we'd stayed back at bt instead of leaving for waterbar so early...
even mrs. chua thanked us for our support when we were bidding farewell.
waterbar was packed wif gays when we arrived at bout 2am.
woah...hunky n beefy bodies all ard man!!
never been in the midst of so many hunks before... n dammit! they're all gays!
we're like the onli few gals in that place lor...n the onli 2, 3 gals on the whole dance floor?? (esp since stella din wan to dance later on le).
the gays on the dance floor there were hugging, gyrating against each other n french-kissing, oblivious to their surroundings (prob cos all ard them are gays oso). free show man. too bad huishi left early.
oh yeah!!
n there were these two fucking bitchy gays...
fighting for space wif xiang and i on the platform man!!
the two of us were already dancing on the platform when these two dumb-bells climbed on n tried to squeeeeeeeze us off!! how bitchy is that man?!
so no feng1 du4 (un-chivalrous). act like gals like that...
oh, i forgot. they not guys; they gays wat. no wonder.
but haha, in the end xiang and i won!! =p
they 'volunteerily' left the platform (after we pushed, elbowed, n teh... wan to bitch rite?? we bitch back lar...ahaha).
haha, according to xiang, its cos the gay dun wan his bf to get 'attracted' to us...lolx~!! =p
haha, no lor... those gays over there in too deep le. impossible to change them liao lor, dun need scared we'' catch their eyes one lor.
if anything, i still scared the bf humptump us arh. cos we kept squeezing them back, he'll prob tot we were 'molesting' his stead. puiz!! >"<
yup. but overall had a good time that nite lar.
hmmm...judy even msg us thank us for going down bt...n that we always make her day when we go down (or smth to that effect). touched ^.^
haha, cant wait to go down bt n waterbar to dance again after exams...
hai...now hafta pia le... =/
gambate pple!!
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 5:12 PM
Friday, October 24, 2003
deepavali holiday
yup, decided.
will be going to waterbar tml nite wif xiang, stella n huishi.
but will be going down bt first wif stella n xiang.
haha, cant wait to go dancing at waterbar....
*whoots* ;p
hmmm... ian seems quite troubled today...
his voice sounds all funny over the phone jus now...like no energy like that.
hope everything's all rite with him...
take care brudder.
n u too xiang...
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 1:19 AM
Tuesday, October 21, 2003
emotional graph
discover that my emotions have been undergoing a roller-coaster ride since that day at zouk....up and all the way down and up a little and down and up some more then all the way down again...
u get the picture.
if i were to plot them on a graph, it'd probably have many many big n small fluactuations n show a decreasing trend.
interesting how u can use mathematical/ economical/ graphical terms to see ya own emotions ya??
wtf =/
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 10:18 PM
Monday, October 20, 2003
american beauty
jus watched 'american beauty' on tv jus now.... woah.
wat a powerful movie....
the msgs its trying to convey are so subtle they wun be there unless u look closer-- u'll jus feel something that wud wan to make u look closer at the movie.
it shows that beneath the surface of everybody, there's a side that no one noes... everybody belittles wat they're capable of doing until something happens n they act in ways they never tot they'd do.
quite an impression the show made on me...
the facades everyone put on until they're removed one day.
wat a twist...
the sluttish lolita-like beauty who's actually a virgin.
the rebellious gal who turns out to be not as ordinary as she think she is.
her average-joe father who has a near affair wif her teenage gal-fren.
the mother who's having an affair n nearly killed her husband when he found out.
the boy next door who sells drugs.
his being mistaken for a mental case when his mom was the real mental one.
his father who turns out to be a murderer.
woah...pretty dramatic when it comes out that way doesn't it?
but the whole movie laid everything before u n unfolds so slowly that u get a pretty realistic account of it in the end.
n the sexual tension that cackles in the air throughout the whole movie until it climaxed in such a surprising n ironic ending.
haha, i sound like i'm reviewing a movie dun i?? =p
but yeah... its a movie i dun mind seeing again.
now, as for the movie reviewing part... if the pay is good, i dun mind considering taking it up... lolx ;p
Rose Quartz
What Stone Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You're a Sapphire. You seem to be unreachable, but
deep inside, you are really a nice and warm
person. You are elegant and get along well with
people once you know them.
What Jewel Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are Form 0, Phoenix: The Eternal.
"And The Phoenix's cycle had reached
zenith, so he consumed himself in fire. He
emerged from his own ashes, to be forever
immortal."
Some examples of the Phoenix Form are Quetzalcoatl
(Aztec), Shiva (Indian), and Ra-Atum
(Egyptian).
The Phoenix is associated with the concept of life,
the number 0, and the element of fire.
His sign is the eclipsed sun.
As a member of Form 0, you are a determined
individual. You tend to keep your sense of
optomism, even through tough times and have a
positive outlook on most situations. You have
a way of looking at going through life as a
journey that you can constantly learn from.
Phoenixes are the best friends to have because
they cheer people up easily.
Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 1:10 AM
Saturday, October 18, 2003
waterbar
this morning's still like a dream to me...
prob cos i was high on alcohol again last nite.
to the pt of vommitting (yeah yeah, wats new =/ ).
but man, really enjoyed myself. so it was worth it. Lolx~
chatted wif huishi on the phone this morning.
awoke to her msgs. was replying ian n her msgs when she replied to my other m1 hp to call her at her that hp. but my that m1 hp din have her no. saved in it. tot it was my sis (that freakin gal was at her fren's chalet...din come back the whole nite) n called back with my house phone. was still blur having woke in the morn, din recognise her voice. actually asked her who she was? lolx.
yeah. she wanted to noe how was waterbar last nite.
yup, she down there gek tt she din go (her fren dua her) n tt i din tell her i'm going else she'll go down too le. told her it was very fun. yup, think she'll really like the place, esp since she likes to dance so much. told her bout the place n some of the things that happened there last nite (the music, the dancefloor, some of the les down there last nite, the damn hunky waiters, our unsuccessful flirtations, lolx~). haha. she gek arh, lamenting y din i jio her down last nite. not that i didn't ask her; did msg her last nite to ask is she at waterbar already n issit happening there anot?? (cos xiang wans to dance). but she was already asleep!! aiyoh...
in the end decide that if we (xiang n i) intend to go back waterbar next week or wat, i'd jio her along too.
haha, tot that i'd blog bout this first in case i forget.
now that i'd fully woken up, this morning seems so unreal.
yeah....
ok, back to last nite ;)
been down to bt wif xiang last nite.
but we went to check out waterbar en route to bt, since craig rd was jus beside duxton rd. but it was still quiet (bout 10+pm onli) when we reached there. their lighting n dancefloor was pretty good n the place tho wasn't that big, was quite posh. not bad.
went down to bt after that.
yeah, enjoyable as always =)
one of the most memorable things that happened last nite tho, was that ben (our ex-boss) actually offered to buy us a jug of bourbon coke (if he loses to us in a finger-guessing game)! n the thing was, he was the one who initiated the offer, out of the blue! n he's never done that before. as in, in our knowledge of all the time that he's boss at bt. its always pple who treat him n not the other way round. oh man....
prob he noes that we dun have much money le (cos we were bout to leave actually after our bottle run out)... but u dun c the boss-man jus treating any other customers jus cos they've no money do u??
wah... so gan3 dong4 (touched) man. it shows how they really dote on us sia.
n mrs. chua (boss-lady) actually saw us all the way to the door after that when we were leaving (after we bid all the management good-bye umpteen times). n kept waving n calling out gd-byes until we were far far away out of sight...so comical. wah....
after the nite at zouk, being pampered this way by the management at bt left me with such a heart-warming feeling. can always count on bt to make u feel good, no matter wat. (was feeling so lousy that i didn't feel like going down to bt initially...) but glad i did ytd :)
left bt earlier to go waterbar to dance...
we wanted to leave bout 1am one, but dragged our farewells n stuff till 2am before we could leave.
msged huishi ealier on when xiang wanted to dance n we wanted to noe issit happening at waterbar anot. but yeah, she was asleep already. msged ian to ask bout the place instead (cos i saw his msg bout studying together today). wanted to noe will it be inappropriate if two gals go down to a pub where gays n les dominate. haha, he was telling me that the guys there very good-looking one n i was saying good-looking oso no use; gays mah wun be interested in us one lor. worst still, good looking scully we like but they not interested. LOlx...=p
yeah, n he oso told me that huishi's not going cos her fren dua her.
yeah, waterbar's a fine place to dance.
good music, good lightings, good ambience oso.
n hunky waiters!!!
wah lao...so buffed n good-looking, but they're resistant to xiang n my teh-ness!! y are they gays??! so wasted. Lolx~
since they close at 3am, we'd onli left an hr to dance. so after grabbing our drinks (buy one free one, so xiang n i bought one ribena vodka jug n got another lime vodka free...quite worth it), we quickly moved to the dancefloor le.
man... we gave a new meaning to the term 'un-inhibited'.
i guess i could onli dance so heck-caringly since i noe that i'm wif my best fren. surprised i'd actually had the mood to dance oso... prob cos its her that i wun feel paiseh oso. actually went up the platforms to dance a few times even! haha, 'un-inhibited' oso prob cos there's no one there to look at us oso!! haha, all gays n les, wun be interested in us oso wat. n shd there be ani straight guys there, they'd prob think the two of us are les, wun dare come near us oso. Lolx~!! Xp
the dance seems to end much sooner than we like =/
tho we were alreadi sweaty from all the exertion.
went to finish our two jugs of vodka (left half-filled each) after that while sitting n chatting wif the waiter at the bar-counter... haha, the onli responsive one. the rest were sitting at another table waiting for us to leave so they can knock off i guess. wah lao...to be in the midst of these hunky guys n they're not interested in gals??! wah lao, wat a waste man. but i was high n joking with them for awhile after that. they're pretty cute lor...so scared of us or smth. haha, mah jiam we can eat them up like that.
oh, they asked us wud we be back next week??
haha, we two kana condemned le...
think they'd assume we were les since we go down on their friday gay/ les nite...ahahaha =p
went down to gombak for supper wif david n chit cheng after that.
was so high that i was afriad david will be angry =/
haha, qiao him to treat us eat supper... been gianing to eat chicken wings (as well as coffee club express' oreo cheesecake...) the whole nite.
hmmm... another thing i very gan3 dong4 (touched) about.
xiang accompanied me to the toilet to vomit...
the word "accompany" is really so special n meaningful...
i contrasted sherm's 'neglect' (that nite when i was car-sick/high n vomited) with xiang's care. din even dared to vomit in front of sherm... n felt so sick in the end cos i couldn't vomit. n after that, tho i'm still feeling so sick n stuff she din give a hoot. still gotta entertain her, think of topics to tok bout n force myself to laugh even when i'm feeling so lousy already. man...
n i'm so concious of how much food i was eating then (two chicken wings...wanted more actually) since she wasn't eating n jus sat there stoning. dammit! to hell with pple who are so boring they cant even strike conversation.
compare n contrast with how much i ate when i was wif xiang n the rest...
three chicken wings later n theyr'e still down there waiting for me finish eating (tho david was complaining why were they waiting for me since i'm the one eating, they still sat n wait n watch me gobble down my third wing).
felt so glad i have xiang as my best fren...
where wud i be without her?? still wallowing in sorrow i think.
n i wun need to go clubbing (without feeling so self-concious) ever again.
love u xiang!! >.<
*muaaarrck muaaarrckz muaaaaarrrcckkz *
haha =p
n oh my...chit cheng has slimmed down until he's almost unrecognizable man!! i oso wan...
yeah... n here am i still gianing my oreo cheesecake from coffee club express =/ wah lao, who wud pei me go eat??!!
oh, n i dua ian today... :p
too tired when i woke to go study. n he had to go his grandma's house later in the evening oso, no pt meet him for a couple hrs onli. but he said he's free tml so maybe then?? but means have to go read up my econs notes tonite le... cant go study wif him with no knowledge in my head rite?? will not noe wat qns to ask him oso.
why do i have the feeling like i'm going for a consultation wif a teacher like that??
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 7:46 PM
Friday, October 17, 2003
reluctant reflections
jus felt like blogging so despite my tite time schedule, i'm here.
still owe ian my econs case study which i havent done yet!!!
oooohh...i'm so dead so dead so dead... *whimpers*
the big (n when i mean big, i mean it literally) bully was threatening me jus now...
man, how am i gonna finish it??!! i dunno how to do lar... n its 2+am alreadi lor!!
hai...nvm, shall find time. gotta do a little at least even if i come up with crap =/
but seriously, he nv fails to cheer me up when i'm down...
even tho he mite not noe it half the time.
plesantly surprised to see his msg last nite after i'd finish clubbing with them. but he'd fallen asleep when i'd replied at 3am.
he replied to my msg this morn when he woke up.
told him i felt bad....
n he sent msgs after msgs to cheer me up.
tho he dunno the cause of my unhappiness n jus tot i was sick n jus felt lousy n insecure (which i'd led him into thinking).
after a horrible nite of neglect, the care n concern by the ones u love can really touch you...
after last nite, decided i'm not ever gonna tell ian that i smoke le.
dun wan him to give me that kind of look n scold me...will really cant take it one. jus need to imagine his stern response n i'll get teary le...
hai... still feeling so emotionally fragile after last nite...
another thing i decided ytd...
never ever going clubbing without xiangling le.
felt so bad, so lousy, and jus...not rite.
felt so self-concious on the dance floor. jus dunno how to dance.
hai...dancing's alreadi not one of my strongest pts n i've to dance wif a zombie n someone who jus wun look at me.
sherm was like dancing by herself man... totally no eye-contact wif others n stuff. how does she do it??! where's the fun it it?
..................... ~.~
now thinking back, last nite wasn't so bad i guess.
the best time i had was while dancing wif the rest of them.
esp lay hoon (sexy~), tracy n their fren, Lynn, a new fren i got to noe that nite. at least they were dancing with me, unlike sherm (diao).
in fact, seemed to spend the most time with hoon n lynn last nite. n smoking with tracy too (haha =p ).
but i din get a chance last nite to tell siying they all (those in our sch) not to tell anyone else in sch that i smoke.
dammit.
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 2:55 AM
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
being myself
cant spend too much time here... i'm blogging on borrowed time.
promised ian i'll go do my econs case study one.
he DEMANDS to see it done tml for god's sake.
wah biang, he sure is strict man.
chatting wif him on icq jus now.
yup. the grand total of the pple on my icq list has increased to...*drumroll please*.... TWO!! haha =p
huishi n ian!! >.<
crapping wif him on god noes wat topics jus now.
old jokes, new jokes. then some scoldings from him on my lack of self-revision. he volunteered to meet up go study together this sat after he realise i need serious help. wah... so nice of him~
heehee~ =)
(after that he chased me off to do my case study le....)
hmmm... discussed le.
meeting them to go go zouk tml.
n sherm's coming over my house to stay overnite after that.
feels like its judgement day =/
but i kan kai le. i'm jus gonna be myself.
if things go well, yar all for the best. if it doesn't, at least i noe that i've been myself n i'd enjoyed a fun nite there =)
i've xiang n ian to thank for coming to this final conclusion.
chatting n being wif xiang n ian these two days (ytd xiang n today ian) made me realize that, all i've to do is be myself.
being wif ian has helped me in finding myself. while being wif xiang ytd has taught me again how to appreciate myself.
i'd forgotten that how i'd gotten to noe these great frens n gotten to be so close to them is cause i'm real n myself when i was with them.
the thing that attract a real frenship is truthfulness n honesty itself. if i assume any other persona when i try to be with him (or someone new), then the frenship that stem from that persona has have those qualities.
but they're not myself and i wan to be myself. esp if i'm to attract a partner, i'd wan it to be my real self that he/she is attracted to n not jus any other personas.
yeah.
chatted wif xiang at beauty world's mac (supposed to be studying...) from noon to nite the whole day ytd. a long time since we had toked like this. real in-depth n re-discovering ourselves n our frenship. its jus like when we were having those long, serious, in depth conversations in our sec sch days when we were jus getting to noe each other better (or very well for that matter).
glad the two of us spend ytd the way we did =)
its always ya best fren who can make u feel appreciated for jus being you =) ok, i dunno about other best frens, but mine does =p hehe. n esp after today wif ian, i've discovered the importance of being youself.
its been quite long since ian n i last talked.
wat wif my ponning sch nearly the whole of last week n his falling sick the past few days.
but yeah...finally went to sch today n he's there.
man, its jus different with him.
he can jus brighten up my day by jus being there, smiling at me, jus calling my name or cracking some lame joke.
so happy to see him n chatted n crapped wif him the way that we did today after so long =)
its in times of being wif someone new (he's a relatively new fren afterall) n being so happy together that u noe u're appreciated for being yaself.
bonding wif him today (both in sch, after that when we're going home together n esp jus now on net) has given me the confidence n the resolution for me to decide to jus be myself, have fun n follow my instincts tml.
at least, i noe i wun regret it. even if things dun work out the way i'd wished, it'll be a fun-filled nite at least. heh heh ;p
yup. gonna boogie tml!! ;)
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 11:52 PM
Sunday, October 12, 2003
Friendster.com
heehee~!!
chatted wif huishi on phone n ICQ jus now...
yup, she suggested for me to download icq so we can chat.
so vivis, compt idiot, actually went all the trouble (ok ok, trouble for me lar, can??) to download icq. actually sucessful! i'm still in awe wif my sudden technical IQ increase...LOLx ;p
my new icq no. is 301143030
take note u pple ;)
discussed wat to get for layhoon's birthday.
the four of us- sherm, grace, huishi n i are gonna share cost to buy hoon the piere cardin/ burberry wallet that she's eyeing :)
i'm supposed to collect the money from sherm n grace and meet huishi on monday to pass her the money so she can buy it before wed.
oh, n guess wat?!
she introed me to friendster.com... "an online community that connects people through networks of friends for dating or making new friends".
actually, sherm has alreadi invited me to join via email some time ago.
but i wasnt actively involved yet (ya noe me, anithing related to compt is a chore...) until today.
woah.... din noe that so many of my frens n classmates are using friendster too. nice =)
haha, din noe xuan uses friendster too (din see her ard when i was exploring the "community").
got her to email me a few pics so that i can put them in my profile :)
so sweet of her, hee.
hmmm...feel obliged to return those who alreadi written me a testimonial a testimonial too. but dunno wat to write sia...aiyoh.
but jus wrote n sent huishi her testimonial:
She's a cool ger, wat can i say?
Huishi's amazingly fun to be with and though i haven't known her for long, i find her presence addictive already!
and to top that, she's such a good n loyal fren too ;)
Hope to get to know u better, ger =)
yup, i sure do.
hmmm... maybe going zoul with them on wed in that case.
but still...see first lor.
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 1:27 AM
Thursday, October 09, 2003
V.S Naipaul
hmmm...nth much to blog. i'm getting boring i noe =/
spending my time resting at home to recuperate from my flu.
cough's getting worst, hard to cough the plegm out (eeeeewww....yar yar. shut ya eyes if u cant continue reading). to think i was praising the doc's med jus ytd =/
been reading paul theroux's sir vidia's shadow this couple of nites since i've nth to do at home. half way thru now.
pretty tedious reading since the whole book is a journey, with no explicit ups or downs (maybe jus tt i haven reached the climatic parts yet).
but at the same time, also pretty tot-provoking.
theroux's portrait of his biographical subject is very evokative- shows wat a repulsive egoistical bigot the famous writer v.s naipaul is. in literary terms, "the biographer has managed to sucessfully evoke a response from his readers by effectively portraying the subject's nature ".
the book n v.s naipaul reminds me of a frenship i had wif a fren.
after some reflections on the similarities between the two persons, with the additional help of theroux's vivid portrayal of the pompous, self-centred n self-inflating naipaul, i had managed to get a pretty clear picture of that fren too. the result? a deep sense of disgust n repulsion.
makes me wonder y did theroux even remain frens wif naipaul. or for that matter, y did i? nvm, too cheem ('profound' for u lot of non-hokkien speakers) to explain. maybe thats y theroux's literary revenge in the form of this tell-all biography anyway.
but thats not to say i totally agree on theroux's stand.
his narrative is too centred on trying to portray himself as the "good guy" n the mediator between society and the estranged naipaul; constantly trying to make excuses for naipaul's self indulgence n mood swings to show wat a good fren he is, but layering those claims wif further abuses on naipaul's character thru the third person perspective or thru the eyes n mouths of his critics, victims or adversaries.
pretty shallow if u ask me. his hypocrisy is almost transparent, esp if u continue to read thru the book n their journey thru the frenship that spans three decades.
to me, frenship is real.
if it isnt, the person has no priviledge of bearing that term.
i give as much as i receive in a frenship. if the fren is true, our frenship stays true. if its not, then it'll jus stay a memory after the episode ends.
yeah, noe it sounds pessimistic, but its jus a defensive mechanism which i'm sure most pple abide to, albeit unconciously.
luckily for me, i'm fortunate to have found a few confidantes in life whom i'm confident our frenships will last n stay true :)
hmmm...back to sch tml =/
sian...
hope to get back my tim dore's papers tml; havent even seen any of my lit papers yet! still gotta wait till next week to get back our jjl n paul chau's papers i think =/ the three lit teachers are marking so blardy slow its absolutely nerve-wrecking for us to sit n wait in this suspension. *grrrrrrr* =[
You like TIGERS! They are fearless, daring, and
unpredictable. These animals like to be
obeyed, so be prepared to follow the leader!
They are also emotional and feel intense love.
Most are very territorial and possessive.
Tigers are also romantic and passionate! Tigers
are compatible with dogs, horses, and monkeys.
Which animal in the Chinese Zodiac are you attracted to?
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Brave
You face your problems with bravery. You see them
as challenges. You try ur best to put things
back to order. Sometimes you try to hard. But
otherwise, you're basically what everyone wants
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What's your word?
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+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 10:45 PM
Tuesday, October 07, 2003
bronchitis
sick like shit.
woke up this two mornings (esp this morning) with chest-heaving n back-breaking hacking coughs. couldn't even get outta bed or move without body ache. onli dragged myself outta bed late morning to go for jjl's lesson (the power jjl has over us =/ ) n ms. lai's econ lect after that.
went to see doc jus now...
early stage bronchitis.
yikes.
i always went to see that doc for all my big n small illnesses; mostly consisting of my flus.
first time he uses such a 'doctor approach' to describe the conditions of my illness to me.
after listening to the pleghm in my lungs wif his stetoscope (issit called that??), sat down at his desk n wrote very gravely for a moment or two before breaking the news to me.
yup, then blah blah blah...i've to take care of myself before it turns into a full-blown bronchitis. then we chatted for a while bout how n where could i have gotten this virus from, n wat foods n stuff i shd avoid (first time he's telling me to aviod watever stuff oso, feel like a kid)- to summarize, i shd avoid all fruits except red apples, cold drinks n air-con as much as possible. gave me mc for today (since i onli went for half-day sch) n 2 more days so i can rest properly at home.
hmmm...but think will be going to sch on thurs for jjl's lesson after sch at least... wanna get back our papers; she shd have finished marking them by then.
hmmm...yeah, n another problem on my mind...
lay hoon's birthday next wed.
n she asked me to go chiong zouk wif them to celebrate that nite, since our thursdays in sch can go or dun go one (onli one econs tutorial thats impt).
them as in she, sherm, shiying, tracy, (possibly) nazirah and huishi.
layhoon called me last nite to ask me.
when she mentioned who's going told her i'd feel very extra if i went.
she told me if i was extra she wun be asking me along le wat, n besides, i knew those pple oso. yeah...very sweet of her to ask me along. really thank her for that :)
but told her i'll consider first.
dunno... =/
wud feel very wierd cos i hadn't seen huishi for so long le. plus i dunno how she see me as now oso =/
if i do go for layhoon's bday nite out, its mainly to celebrate her birthday (one year once onli, a special day so of cos u'll wan to feel special, pampered n remembered). yup, n if i do go, gotta psycho ian to go to!! dun wan to be so blardy extra there! hmph >.<
oh ya, ian walked past me as i was on my way to the staff room (to find ms. lai to explain my absence this morn) n when he saw me, he exclaimed that i "kan4 qi3 lai2 hen3 xiang4 yao4 si3 le!" (looks like i'm going to die) cos i'm so pale. thanks man... n i was feeling better then (compared to in the morning anyway). accompanied me to find ms. lai after that... heng she din scold after i explained. afraid she'll think that i cooked up this story n onli pretended i was ill. but ian said its obvious from my hoarse voice n pale looks (unless i'd put on make-up lar. har har) that i'm sick.
heng my voice always gets this hoarse n 'broken' when i have the flu.
chi was saying mah jiam i puberty n my voice had broken n all of them (by them i mean the class - as in chi, sherm, layhoon n naz they all) were saying how hoarse n sexy my voice was. LOLX!! Xp
oh man...Xp
having flu does have it peaks after all ;p
k, i'm crazy.
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 10:49 PM
Monday, October 06, 2003
prelims aftermaths
wah kao... was smoking under the blocks near my place when harris walked past me! my primary sch classmate n secondary schmate (tho he's now in HCJC i think) who lives near my block too. yikes!
quiickly threw away my cig butt, but dunno did he see me holding it anot... =/
totally forgot he lived in that block le. n i mean, even if i did remember, the chances of me bumping into him usually is still quite slim wat (tho it'd hapened on a few occasions). wah lao...
after throwing away my butt i looked down n pretended to be using my hp hoping he hadn't noticed me n continue walking the other way. but nah, he walked into the shelter i'm in. i'm having flu so totally cant smell the smoke stench, but was very concious whether he wud smell it since i'm sitting in a corner n its pretty enclosed...
he said hi like he din notice anything but i din dare to chat wif him too long cos was afraid he'd have smelled the smoke smell if he stayed too long or noticed the cig butts (some mine, some not) on the floor even if he hadn't seen me smoking originally.
seems like he hadn't noticed...
hai...hopefully.
if word spreads ard bp...or even my primary sch classmates...
sigh... =/
got back a few of our prelim papers last week. since i was away at cruise, ian n glo helped me collect my papers. din see the papers today but apparently i'd gotten 58% (24/50 for compo n 34/50 for compre) for my gp; ian forgot the exact marks i got for my lit paper1 (thanks man!) but said it was quite high, bout 60+%.
as for econs, i dun even need to ask, sure fail =/
now waiting for my other papers to come back.
a mixture of anticipation n dread.
hoping to pass my overall geog (physical no hope le, can onli pray human can pull my overall up to a passing grade).
tho i didn't set any target for lit (or any of the papers for that matter), hope to get a good grade for overall lit since it's one of the subjects that i'm not totally sotong n w/o knowledge about. but still have to see jjl n paul chau's papers...chau's papers sure die so hope that jjl's papers wun score too badly...
may be getting back her paper tml....(but then again, the lit teachers are known for marking damn slow =/ )
*pray!*
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 4:10 PM
Sunday, October 05, 2003
 | LJ Barcode |
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 3:31 PM
new zzzzzz record!
hmmm...pretty long time since i blogged.
yup, jus returned from my cruise fri noon :)
n slept until afternoon today~!!
15hrs of continuos sleep man. then woke for 2-3hrs play compt then go back sleep for 3-4hrs...ummm...19hrs of sleep in total??
gawwd.
yeah, din get enuf sleep on the ship cos was so busy playing away the two nites there =p
to summarize, its two whole days of shopping, eating n jacuzzi and 2 whole nites of singing, drinking n flirting ;p
hmmm... really an ego booster being with the sweet-talkers onboard.
they must have eaten honey n chocolate syrup every meal to develop their glib tongues man. haha, but its onli wif xiang that i can get the courage to flirt so...hmmm...how can i describe it... pro?? cos its not like we throw ourselves at them (more like the opposite?) or that we deliberately sek any attention from them, or even initiate any chats. jus harmless flirtings n endless small (albeit sweet) talks.
haha, xiang even bluffed a bar-tender (a pretty suave looking indian, charming n eloquent speaker, engineering grad...no wonder) at the karaoke lounge we were in that it was my birthday that nite n he promised to get me a present... which he really got me the next nite!
wow... so nice of him... n we'd onli met for a short while (couple of hrs) n he'd taken us for our word. n he'd even gotten me a birthday cake when we went down the second nite! as in really paid for it himself. one of the waitress saw him giving us the cake n was bout to go up n tick him off even, before he stopped her n told her that the cake was on his bill. so sweet of him... felt abit guilty =/ cos xiang n i got the impression initially that the workers onboard starcruise are low labour workers (most of the waitresses n cleaners are at any rate). but he seems ok i guess...else cant be ang mohs also go onboard be bar tenders rite?? else wat they earn?
anyway, we dedicated a song to him after that in return: "how do i live".
one of the onli few english songs we'd practiced the nite before =p
how fortunate issit that its a song he liked n that he'd noticed us singing the nite before?? its a "nice song" n i had a "very nice voice" (think a bright-eyed sincere look).
Lolx! tell me he has not eaten honey or wat?? =p
but then again, we'd dedicated the song to him so cant say its not good rite?? haha.
yup. had an outrageous n worry-free time flirting onboard wif my best fren; wat wif all the "pretty gals" n other lavish praises n compliments we'd heard the 2 days onboard ;p keke. but yeah... all cos xiang's so beautiful. gave us so much trouble trying to shake off all those bumble bees after our honey trail =p haha.
oh! did i mention that we'd been mistaken for sisters so many times?? i didn't? well, i say now... everywhere we go pple tot we're sisters cos we look so alike! they din ask or anything, jus assume. while they're taking photos, at the receptions, at restaurants, while collecting photos, while flirting/small chat-ting, on deck, everywhere! ahaha =p
finally!! after 8 years of being together we've finally STARTED to look like each other as best frens shd! :p
Lolx~
so happy. cos xiang's pretty so looking like her shd make me not that bad too rite?? ;p ahahaha~!! ok ok, i thick skin =p Lolx.
hmmm.... back to singapore now =/
such a change from the carefree live onboard.
most obvious being the horrid change in weather!! =[
hot hot hot n humid back in singapore!!
not to mention all the stress n noise as soon as i touched land.
my sis asking me to meet her to study (imagine!), xiang n hairy, etc etc.
sigh... prefer to go back to the stress-free n carefree life on board n jus enjoy the feeling of being pampered =/
thats y i switched off my handphones the moment i reached home, before i slept like there's no tomorrow! yup. no alarms, msgs, calls to wake me up *chuckles* =p
slept away lyn's cries n whinings, xiang's wake-up calls, glo's n the class' disastrous announcements of my prelim results and even mrs. chua's calls to wake us up to go bt!! *whoots*
ok, i shdn't be happy i hide from my stress so recklessly...but imagine...15 straight hours of sleep?!!
Lolx~!! plus the 4 hrs nap after that...think i've set a new record to top or at least, even my last zzzzzzz record le ;p ahahaha!
been down to bt at nite wif xiang (jus now).
supposed to have gone down on fri nite after the cruise one, but the two of us slept like that le boh pian. n mrs.chua even left me voicemails when she couldn't get me... so busy on a fri nite n she was giving me n xiang wake up calls so we wud go down...she's the boss for god's sake!
felt bad... but reflecting on the 15hrs of sleep?? worth it :p haha.
so went down tonite to make up for yesterday.
quiet nite as usual on a sat nite. onli sand a few songs cos our voice was hoarse from singing on the cruise le =p
n ah hock was there!
hohoho ;p
chat wif him for quite some time.
n really...we cant judge pple from their looks...he's damn rich man, the chou ah beng!!
an engineer/doctor working at KK hospital, drives a good car, lives in a good house, etc etc (ok, we were joking in chinese so it may turn out wierd translated like that).
ok, shan't tok bout him anymore... dun wan to give xiang more materials to tease me about le. she's still teasing me bout my entry bout his "nice, broad hands!!" from dunno how many ages ago arh! hmph =[
but yeah, every nite at bt is a heartwarming one....
felt so welcomed n at ease wif judy n mrs. chua :)
judy has the nicest hugs any person could give...prob cos she's so lavish wif them n so substantial to hug?? haha, nah, that did sound to good...but she's really nice to hug, like a big teddy bear. n her hug is very generous n unheld-back...a big bear-hug. me like =)
felt so pampered n taken care of there.
haha, wat can i say?? i like being pampered =p
oh, i havent mentioned have i??
i'm suffering from a flu n a congested nose n face now!
*grrrrrrr*
all cos of the sudden change in weather/temp when we disembark from the cool ship (at the international waters) onto land in scorching singapore (at mid-day! imagine).
hate being sick.
prob oso half the reason y i slept so long oso =/
wun be surprise if i repeat history tml.
so pple, dun call me.
i'll call u.
p.s glo! dun need wait for shihan or gil to jio u go swimming! i oso wan to tan!! go someday next weekend or wat ya?? after my dratted nose stop leaking....grrrrrrr >.<
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 5:05 AM
Wednesday, October 01, 2003
Bon voyage
yessss~!!
4+ hours from now n i'll be onboard star cruise!!
*whooots!* Xp
only started packing my luggage last nite after returning from bt n supper wif xiang. had a nice time at bt... very quiet nite (weekday mah) so all the attention was on us. again. very nice feeling of being look after n cared for :) as well as being pampered n being the centre of attention.
promised mrs. chua we'll be going down to bt on fri nite again, after we return from the cruise.
will be returning from star cruise on fri noon/evening.
4 more hours...
cant wait ;p
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 4:22 PM
