[ The Memories ]
Sunday, November 30, 2003
shitty shade of red
going siloso beach at sentosa to tan tml~!!!
n guess wat??
my good fren has decided to turn up today.
how blardy wonderful is that?
dun care. gonna turn the beach red at most.
*bleeeah*
poor her still sick today...
ahaha, i get to eat all the things that she wans to eat but cant... lolx.
we were so looking forward to going out but then her fever rose to 37.7 degrees at 5pm??! =/
another day perhaps... hai...
okie.
dyed my hair today...
wat *medium golden blond*??!
its a freak shade of red ok?!
fark.
n i can onli go salon dye again a couple of months down the rd after i've saved enuf money? wtf...
how am i gonna face the world in the mean time?!!!
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 10:52 PM
Saturday, November 29, 2003
dad's birthday
hmmm...
dad's birthday today.
went out to eat zhi cha.
fried sotong... mum mum =9
made him a birthday card... decorate wif the three (mum, sis n me) of our kisses (coloured wif lipsticks)... the women in his life.
lolx =p
meeting her to watch movie tml...
that is, if she recovers from her fever already...
but if not tml, dunno when to squeeze her into my packed schedule next week le...
i dun dare watch the korean scary movie =x
but she dun mind watching duplex (romantic comedy?).
she wans to go alot of places, but i'm not free next week!!
not that i purposely wan to keep rejecting her... but it does sound that way doesn't it?
she sounds almost pitiful...
but i cant possibly cancel my other plans.
maybe she's feeling more fragile cos she's sick ba...
yeah... thats y our movie date tml, on a sunday (tickets like damn ex??).
yeah...
called her to call me again if she recovers, but dun mian qiang.
i'm free from now on (except most of next week lar), if she's intent on meeting me sure have time one.
still, hope she gets well soon...
ooohh... bought hair dye le =)
revlon's medium golden blond??
yeah, like real it will turn out golden blond. prob lucky to even get light brown i think. the problem wif asian hair =/
sis gonna help me dye either later or tml...
scared it turn out horrible...=/
then how am i gonna go meet her wif that kinda head??! n my class chalet oso??!
pls lyn... my future's in ya hands... =x
*cross fingers*
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 11:23 PM
once bitten
been down to bt again.
jack daniel's safe opening tonite.
*whoots*
'won' a few jack daniel t-shirts, lighters n sunglass among us.
but not there grand price (air tickets to thailand) or their bottle of jack daniel's... shucks =/
can u imagine after buying 4 bottles n 12 coupons in between us n we've not won any big prizes??! wtf? wonder who won the grand price sia... better not let me noe its someone who'd jus bought one bottle that day onli... gek arh. hmph.
huishi called me today...
was still napping din recognise her voice again (so many pple private numbers these days, how to guess?).
they (as in she n layhoon) wanted to go down taboo (a club in tanjong pagar) asked me can go anot, n whether ian will wan to go anot one.
told her i'm going down bt le... too bad.
n that its a bit last minute to ask ian to go down tonite (she called at 7.30 in the evening le??) but layhoon can ask him if she wans.
hai... too bad....
toked for awhile... told her i've been down to waterbar last week (now... wat did she say that make me tell her that?? forgot liao...still groggy then). n she was like, "i tot u still exams last week?? (i laughed... "to relax mah, onli left two more papers" ) hurh... y din jio me??! wah lao, mei you jiao wo qu~!!"
yeah, i wanted to ask her one!! but scared she dun wan then i paiseh mah. but i told her its cos i paiseh tt i exam still ongoing still got go chiong mah. dun wan her to feel like i dun like her company purposely dun ask her out when i noe she wans to go to that place one... but really dunno whether she'll wan to go waterbar or bt again anot, she's so used to going clubbing n dancing, scared she's not used to our kind of nite out... n xiang n i go down bt so often?? how to ask her every week whether she wans join us anot?? like so imposing like that...she mite have her own plans already wat.
y all the plans all find me at the same time one??! keep me so busy n spoilt for choice now then gonna be so bored after couple weeks later when i've finished going out wif them all le =/ shd spread out wad~!!
yeah... but i was saying maybe can meet them since they're at tanjong pagar too. i can pop in on them or they can pop in at bt.
then she asked me out to watch midnight...
tonite.
hai...
din hear her properly at first, still groggy from sleep.
kept asking like a drunken fool: " huh? kan midnight? she me midnite?... kan midnite? kan she me midnite?"
okie better not go on... but thats how blur i was when i jus woke up -.-"
dunno she meant wif layhoon or not, too blur. but layhoon always go home early one even if she goes out chiong or wat...
but yeah, finally got the gist of her question after sometime.
hai...
but i had to reject her....
jack's safe was opening onli after midnite.
called her later on when i'm on my way to bt.
turn out they wun be going down taboo tonite le.
she jioed me go down double o or cheeky monkey (some clubs) tml nite.
but ex sia. $20 entrance fee?? i noe i'll be broke after tonite at bt one, cannot.
n i later remembered its my dad's birthday tml... yeah.
tot we can catch a movie some other day instead lor...
did i hear dissapointment...?
hai... if wan to go out chiong wif her, i hope it'll be to bt lor.
its fun, more relaxing n at least we can tok.
or at least to bt at first then later on go waterbar or some other clubs nearby.
dun wan to dance all nite without xiangling n wif her like the other day at zouk... there physically but not there wif me.
wud feel so out of place one...
yeah...
i'm scared already.
somebody...
pls tell me wat she's thinking??
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 5:07 AM
Friday, November 28, 2003
'a' levels finally over!!!
*whooots*
did u see that??
i repeat again...
the fucking 'a's are finally over~!!!
being happy is an understatement man...
but yeah...dead tired... =/
din feel the happiness at first.
jus a sense of relieve n emptiness right after the exams.
(n some panic too... may have mis-interpreted the drama... king henry??! its shakespearean's english for god's sake! how do u suppose i know wat the world they're toking about to begin with... not to mention the tone, gist, striking feature?! but...as everybody is saying, its over. heck it.)
its only after meeting hanxiang that the reality of the end of exams starts to slowly sink in...
yup yup. been out wif hanxiang.
two words to descibe our meeting: pure happiness.
dinner n movie- sushi buffet (yummy~) n "master n comander" (i'm so in love wif the handsome, eccentric kind n absolutely brilliant doctor in the movie *whoots* ahaha.
i so miss her man...
n she's back to normal~!!
no more sickly, permanently stressed out, sian-sian dragging of feet, downcasted face.
so happy to hear her old laughter n old crappiness n niceness...
*beams* =)
happy that i'd made her happy too... haha.
yeah...but we both agree on one thing...
jc sucks.
big time.
surprised to learn that she shares my opinion too... that if our siblings were to ask us whether to go poly or jc after o levels in future, no way wud we intro them to follow our footsteps. no way.
we were like cursing moe like shit??
more so after i told her bout yan wen's suicide...
fucked up educational system.
if given a chance to migrate after my marriage, i might do so just to get my children out of this fucking stressed-up educational system of s'pore.
hmmm...canada wud be a gd place dun u think?? nice, quiet n relaxing... yeah.
n its not jus the stressful education in jc.
the social circle n watever trivalities that we took for granted in secondary sch are jus so not the same in jc. n thats a fucking understatement too. look at how many true frens i've found in jc??
its so hard to even name them cos everything is so ambiguous; everybody are putting on masks n defense mechanism when facing pple that u dun even noe the person that u're making frens wif.
i dare to say that i'd go separate ways wif most of my class after 'a's. n i'm not sorry for that too. some of them may have left some happy memories in n outside of class. but yeah, thats wat they are... just memories, episodes in my past. not many things n pple worthwhile that i can or wan to have a future wif.
yeah, n i'm still not sorry.
i may feel sorry that i've wasted my two years here n still havent found any close enough frens in jc. but i'd never feel sorry for letting go of the shallow relationships that are jus not worth my future time n energy to cultivate if i see the frenship going nowhere.
remember?? my motto in life is not to waste my precious time on pple whom i dun enjoy being wif.
anyway...
still feel wierd that exams are over...
went into popular n looking at all the cute notebooks n stationaries n discovering that I HAVE NO USE FOR THEM ALREADY~?!!
wierd feeling.
still waiting for the 'hip hip hooray' feeling to sink in i guess...
but yeah... really happy to see hanxiang today :)
hope to see more of her this hols... yeah~!!!
keke ;)
okie. now that 'a's are finally over, i've got a new set of dilemmas.
when n how shd i dye my hair???
home dye?? not pro enuf, not as even or nice.
salon dye?? damn ex, 100 over bucks for a job well done??
when?! before rebonding- hair wud grow out after rebond n the colour wud look wierd.
after rebonding- thats like 2 months later?! how am i gonna tahan that long when everybody ard me, even the guai guai ones, are already gonna dye their hair??! *grrrrrrr* so u see my dilemma??
y cant the sky jus drop down one thousand dollar note?? (i'm not being greedy; jus drop one note, not a whole downpour of cash mah) n i'd be able to solve all my problems....
somebody tell me wat shall i do?? (read: when n how shd i dye my hair??)
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 1:12 AM
Wednesday, November 26, 2003
last lit paper tml...
"you can read letters, my boy... and you can read words. but you must learn to read inter linea, between the lines."
"there is nothing written between the lines. sir."
"there is always something written between the lines. but it takes great wisdom to read it."
- here there be dragons, by jane yolen
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 11:02 PM
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
unlimited wants
things to be happy about today:
1. successfully searched for lit notes on net (now, if only i can finish
reading them all by tml...)
2. i'm meeting hanxiang (most prob) on thurs~!!! *yippee*
if not thurs then weekends?? hope to see more of her now that hols is
coming...haha =p )
3. did my nail manicure today~!! wif help from my sis, using her nail deco
set ;)
but am i really happy...?
i think i want n expect too much, even tho i know i can be contented wif little. i'd experienced various stages in life when nth is ever enuf, when i'm contented wif every little little things in life, or even when there's a void that nth can fill up. but never ever before will i feel that there is too much of smth good. there's never too much of smth good. guess humans are like that. guess the econs notes were rite when they described humans as having "unlimted wants", haha =p
bah. i shd be content.
and i am. at least for today anyway =p
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 3:45 AM
Sunday, November 23, 2003
greek gods
been down to bt n waterbar again last nite.
its becoming such a weekly thing that i shouldnt even need to mention it in my blog any more.
gave them our "chirstmas present" in advance ytd... the same x'mas tree i got for my house ;)
they seem very happy... din occur to them that we'll give them gifts it seems...
good good.
the best thing bout giving gfts is getting appreciated for them =)
waterbar was packed wif gays last nite.
really. more so than any other times we'd been down.
n ooohh... the buff, toned n drrolsome naked bodies... *sluuuurrp* =p
wah... a gal's dream come true man.
if it wasn't for them dancing to each other.
shucks. so wasted.
*fantasize.........*
wah... beautiful greek gods-like body... my oh my.
i can oggle at them all day long if i werent afraid of getting walloped by their boyfrens. lolx =p
ahaha, xiang n i were even contemplating to "accidentally" caress their chest n "oops. sorry"... =p
wah lao... the bodies the bodies the bodies....!!!
*sigh*
that was bliss man...
now... will i ever get a bf wif that kinda bod??
i sure wouldn't mind ;p
(yeah rite... who wud mind?)
You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be
poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and
creativity, and usually are highly intelligent.
Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet
also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.
What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla
Your soul is bound to the White Rose: The
Pure.
"I've been waiting in the dark for a long
time, shining my beacon of hope through the
shadow. If you see me, don't you hide your
eyes from me."
The White Rose is associated with purity, honor,
and chastity. It is governed by the goddess
Artemis and its sign is The Cross, or Agape.
As a White Rose, you are a person of your word.
You may have a strong moral code, but
regardless of your virtue, you always stay true
to yourself. To you, love is the most pure of
emotional forms and it's just a matter of
waiting for it to bless you. Some people may
say you are too idealistic, but it's only
because you don't want to mess things up.
What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
brought to you by Quizilla
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 5:00 PM
Friday, November 21, 2003
resolve
"you broke your own rule. if u make a rule, keep to it."
-v.s naipaul
the words jus seemed to jump out at me from sir vidia's shadow.
was reading it jus now.
(or forcing myself to read more like it)
yup.
had seriously contemplated going back to bt to work if i cant find any job after dec. dun wan to, but if no job no choice rite?
but... i really dun wan to let any fucking bastards touch anymore.
its not part of my job requirement ok??!
n gotta smile while inside i feel like ripping out their guts/ penis/ testicals.
the worst feeling in the world is not getting *******, but knowing that u did nothing to stop it when its within your power to, and losing your sense of self- worth.
that period had probably been some of the lowest times in my life.
u think i like being touched huh josh??!
fuck u.
anyway... reading that quote in sir vidia's shadow had reminded of wat wud lie in store for me if i do return back to bt to work. dun wan to feel so miserable again. not only feeling bad bout myself, but those ard me too. hating my dad for being a man, hating xiang for letting them touch her, hating all men in general. all irrational feelings i noe.... of cos my dad cant help being a man, xiang din let them touch, they jus did, n men being men are jus so fucking lousy. duh.
yeah... but really dun wanna feel all these negative feelings anymore... all the hatred n dissapointment in the ones u love... man, thats jus awful.
yup. so to keep my friendship n good relationship wif my family, i shall resolve not to work full-time or even part-time there again.
a rule i made last time but wavered in recently.
nevertheless, i found back my resolve again.
yeah... n this blog is to remind me if ever i shd forget, my resolve to stay away from that kinda filthy n degrading environment.
yeah...
bt's a great place to hang out as customers... but jus damn fucked-up to work there.
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 11:59 PM
over over soon to be over~
| |
|
human geog paper today.
yay~!!
i'm left wif two more lit papers next week n it'll be bye-bye jjc le~!!!
*whooots*
really dunno wat i'll get for geog tho...
human paper relatively easier compared to physical.
but even if human can pull up my grades, physical wud pull it down...
wats the possibility of me getting a b grade for geog??
dunno.
but...
ahahah...!! 3 subjects down le!! econs, geog n gp (do u take gp as a subject??). now left two more lit papers n i'm through~
wheeeeee~!!
| |
|
haha, this 'blog' courtesy from neopets...again =p
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 7:07 PM
Wednesday, November 19, 2003
opinated vs. judgemental
hmmm...
discover that opinated pple are usually pple wif more confidence.
as compared to pple who are fickle n capricious.
thats cos opiniated pple have their own set of principles n believes; they believe that a way is right, therefore any other way against their principles is irrelevant. cos they noe wat they are doing is the right way, their believing in themselves breeds self-confidence.
i'm one such person.
if we go by this rule, it wud mean that judgemental pple are confident too ya??
not.
they're insecure pple who pick on other pple's flaws cos their brains sub-conciously recognise these undesirebilities as their own character traits, that the consious mind fails to recognise as their own.
if u'll recall on some of the pple u've known, u'll discover that some of the most judgemental n unreasonable pple u noe are the ones wif the most character flaws.
see? i wasn't wrong was i?
i myself can think of a few pple who fall under this category...
but...
haha, now thinking back... think i may be quite fickle at times too...
esp when it comes to food =p lolx...
but then again... nah. thats not fickle-- i dunno which food to choose onlybecos i feel like eating all of them! lolx~!!
but unfortunately, i've got only one stomach... yeah =/
thats not fickle; thats greed n gluttony.
yeah...prob my biggest vices... ahaha =p
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 5:44 PM
smelly doufu
i wanna go hong kong~!!!
hong kong hong kong hong kong...
y must there got sars?!!!
i miss their chou doufu!!! miss it like shit...
n their oyster egg, shiok~
so diff from s'pore's. veri nice n veri generous wif their oysters which is oso very nice.
i miss the food.
n i miss the shuai ges there.
everywhere i turn, there's a good-looking hunk ard a corner.
forget corner. there's too many of them n not enuff space in hk for them to hide in corners.
they're all over the place!!... in every street n every walkway.
hong kong is beckoning me...
chou doufu...shuai ge... food... shuai ge... food... shopping... food... shuai ge...
dammit. jus let me go hong kong!!
i dun care, i can get quarrantined for ten days after returning to s'pore!!
jus let me go hong kong!!!
*boohoo* =(
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 5:39 AM
Tuesday, November 18, 2003
movies after 'a's
heh heh.
ian called to chat today =p
used becca's home phone so i din recognize the no. at first.
din even recognize his voice in the beginning, tot was a wrong number or some salesmen...
lolx~
yay~!!
going watch movie with him after exams end!! X)
yeah yeah yeeeeah~!!!! ^_^\/
there's so many movies i wanna watch!!
its been like how many months since i last watched a movie??
aha.
n if its wif him, i dun even mind watching a scary movie... *brrrrrrrr* 6_6
but... scully he's more scared than me arh =p
lolx~!!
yup yup. looking forward to watching movie with him.
squeezing, hugging n lying on him >.<
ahahaha~!! =p
xiang will be relieved that i change target le....
nah xiang, u're not off the hook yet =p
u?? i'm squeezing for life!!
ren le ba ;p
oh!! we got a x'mas tree for our home ytd le~!!
our first ever x'mas tree.
the crystal lightings, run on electricity, colour changing kind.
sooooooo pretty!!!
even my mum went gaga over it, imagine.
supposed to put in my living room... together wif the "romantic" orange lights that we switched on in our living room these couple of nites, the ambience is jus so soothing n romantic~!! *whoots*
but its in my room now =p ahaha.
switched it on in my darkened room last nite while smoking, listening to songs n looking at it... yeah....
wif the 'meteor garden' (popular romance chinese drama serial) songtracks in the background.... martine mccutcheon's perfect moment... queen's love of my life...penny dai's ni3 yao4 de1 ai4 (the love u wan)... basking in the bliss of the nite n my ciggarettes...
i can relieve this every nite man =)
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 2:09 AM
Monday, November 17, 2003
turbulence
she msged me the other day...
yeah...
i miss you too....
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 2:47 AM
Sunday, November 16, 2003
exam break~
*whoots*
the end of the first week of exams~!!!
the most most fucking tedious week gone n done with, cant describe my overall relieve man.
nah, i din do as well as i probably should be aiming for.
but who cares?? its over, n i'm glad =)
the last week has been so strenuos man...
the last couple of days of my exams i actually went for more than 30 hrs without sleep??! not onli without sleep at all, but studying n having fucking tedious n nerve wrecking exams in between too. imagine studyin for 12 straight hrs then having 3 hrs of physical geog exam straight after without a wink of sleep, then studying some more without a break in between all the way until my next 3 hr lit exam which lasts until nearly 6 in the evening~?!! n no fucking breaks in between except for short meals. i'm a superwoman man~
yeah ritez. i'd rather not be n jus slack -.-
yup. gonna slack for the next two days over the weekend n start mugging for my human geog n lit papers next week. dun care, jus gonna slack. i deserve it. lolx~ =p
hai... with the rate my papers are going, think i can start seriously searching for private unis le. in fact, i am. but its sooooo ex. my parents cant possibly afford them. i'll prob hafta get a bank loan or work to save the tuition fees. n thats provided even the uni wans me man, wif the wat lousy or mediocre grades i'm gonna get.
hai...
*hope, pray, plead, beg, wish* that i can get into singapore uni.
but wif how my papers had gone....
econs.
already better than my 2 years results ever will be i think, but still dun think it'll be sufficient. prob get a d grade?? like hell it'll get me aniwhere. hope for moderation by cambridge so that i can get a c...a low c i dun mind, jus gimme more than a d pls~!!
gp.
gonna fail my compo. dammit.
havent written so badly in my whole yr2 n it has to be now during 'a' levels that i throw my language to the drains. wrote it like i'll write econs essays or wat, no consideration for my language at all... there goes my 20marks for language =/ jus hope i dun fail the compo too badly n that my compre wud pull it up. compre was fine, but for it to pull my grades up to a b grade (60marks).....
phy geog.
ok i guess. but 15 marks down the drain.
din noe how to do some qns here n there.
oh well... gotta pia for my human geog le.
hope to get a b?? possible?? means i've to to extremely well for my human le...possible?? bleeeeahh~
lit paper 1.
dun even mention it to me!!
now i noe why among all our three lit papers (paper 1, 4 and 8) our sch has usually done worst in this paper than the other papers... the papers set in sch is so much easier than the 'a' levels!!
wrote 5pgs for the ist essay, 5pgs for the second then din have time n did 1 n half for the third?? gone case that one. n onli confident of one essay among the three n its still nth to boast about too, compared to my usual standard. haiz... wat a big flop =/
the exams sound so little when i state them like these...
but thats a total of 9 essays i've written in the span of four days?? not to mention numerous drqs n wat-nots??
6 more essays to go n i'll be free....
i can do it.
at least, thats wat i've to repeatedly convince myself over the next two weeks.
good luck everybody.
all the best.
the last lap to the finishing point already...
such a waste to give up now n render the hardship we've endured for the past two years useless.
yup yup. last two fucking miserable weeks n we're free~
shocking findings of the weeks: josh noes that i smoke?? saw me smokin at sparks that nite at lay hoon's birtday?? at least have the deccency to ask me in discretion n not in the presence of others (claud, apple n glo were present) who mite not noe that i smoke. well, now they noe. is he thick or wat?? n yeah...he seems to have an impression of my as some kinda loose woman...that i "drink, smoke n strip". wat the hell?! that i can always jus strip if i badly wan money or a place in uni?? oh pls, give me strength *roll eyes*. but it very well shows how guys think with their dicks most of the time ya? must be cos of a lack of substance in the empty shell they call a skull. duh!
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 5:27 AM
Tuesday, November 11, 2003
YOU ARE EARTH!
Your inner element is one of great dependability
and security. You like things the way you like
them, and you work hard to achieve what you
perceive as the perfect balance of things in
your life. Your drive to succeed is admirable
and second to none. You are the rock in the
storm that people need, the stability in life
that so many lack. Your drive to be the best
often leads to tremendous success in both life
and business - an idea line of work for you.
You
tend to be picky about friends and acquaintances,
as you have the same high standards for others
as you do yourself. But when you have a friend
you will stick by them no matter what - you are
a friend to the end. Love doesn't come easily
to you, and you may find yourself searching
through many to find the one you are looking
for. When you find that one you love you will
lavish all your love and affection on them, and
you tend to be very sensual, even decadent when
it comes to passion.
Your greatest strengths are your ability to make a
decision and stick to it and your ability to
remain strong no matter what happens. Your
weakness is your tendency to get too stubborn
and your refusal to give even an inch with even
those you care about. Balancing your strengths
and weaknesses is crucial for you to achieve
balance in your life.
Astrologically, Earth is associated with the signs
of Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn. You are most
compatible for either love or friendship with
another Earth Elemental or with an Water. You
are least compatible with an Air Elemental.
Now that you have an idea of your strengths and
weaknesses, why don't you put them to the test?
If you follow my lead I can take you to a game
world where you can explore different sides of
yourself and taste real power....
...and all
the world can be yours.
Which of the 5 Prime Elements are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 10:46 PM
Monday, November 10, 2003
Start of 'A' levels
first day of 'a' levels.
econs.
3 essays down. 12 more to go.
give me strength -.-"
couldn't finish my last essay out of the three.
wondering can i even get a pass in my econs now, not to mention a c grade.
am checking out the private universities in singapore on net already... hai...
random tots: its nice to receive encouraging msgs during this tediously exhausting period... makes one know that at least i'm not the only one suffering through this alone... there's a few thousand pple out there who're going thru this shit too. yeah right, i'm so encouraged -.- hmmm... its always nice to go home wif ian n minyang *smiles*... met huanda n his gf on the bus on the way home... been a long time since i met him, still as skinny n dark as ever...wonder does he think i've grown fatter?? t_t
must jian fei after 'a's!! gp exam tml... splitting headache, going to take a nap before i wake up to study.
gambate pple.
really hope all of us will be able to make it thru this trying period n emerge victorious.
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 7:32 PM
Friday, November 07, 2003
wild-vanilla
You're Mizuki!
You are the main character in Hanakimi, and you hide your true feminine identity in order to attend an all boy's school. Even though you can be ditzy sometimes, you have a lot of courage and charisma, and an inner strength that helps you support those around you. You are honest, sweet, and athletic.
i'm madly in love wif this manga...
known by many translated titles:
Hanazakari no Kimitachi e
secretly in love with you
for you in full blossoms
wild-vanilla
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 4:45 AM
Wednesday, November 05, 2003
young enterpreneur in the makin' ;p
discovered that the more i like/ love a fren, the more i rely on them for emotional support...
is that bad??
like always trouble them wif my problems.
but at least they havent dissapointed me when i really needed them...
*smiles* =)
went out to study at raffles city cafe cartel wif xiang today.
din accomplish anything.
stressed like shit...
msging huishi jus now.
then actually called her to chat??
too stressed...gotta whine to somebody to release stress n get my mind off all this shit...
yup, it worked for awhile.
had a happy time chatting n crapping wif her.
but after hanged up, started to get even more stressed n upset...
really... nothing accomplished the whole day...
gave in n called ian in the end...
got all teary...
hai...
but he was very sweet.
very gentle n encouraging ba...
but the person who helped me most is xiang.
realized the reason i was so stressed was becos i dun have any other aspirations for my future other than going to Uni n get into the courses i wan - psychology or socioogy- n go on from there.
i've always known that the mudane monotony of office work is not for me. imagine having to face competitive colleagues, an eagle-eyed boss n deal wif office politics everyday. its definitely not for me.
even if i go on to become a psycologist (i can wish cant i??) or a counsellor, at least i'll be my own boss, answering to myself n working for reasons i believe worthwhile.
then all of a sudden, while toking to xiang, it suddenly occured to be that i dun have to live to the norm; i can work in an environment where i'm very interested in n be my own boss at the same time. in fact, be a young entrepreneur.
i can open my own clothes boutique n start my own line of clothes n trend.
i already noe how i'm gonna start the shop n wat i wanna do. i'd go down perspnally to hong kong n japan to shop n pick out the trendiest n most fashionable clothes there to be sold in my boutique in singapore.
we'll set the trend.
yup, our shop would be frequented by alpha consumers ("cool" youngsters who set the trend) who'd set the trend for the rest wearing the clothes we handpicked.considering that hong kong's and japan's fasshion are always years ahead of singapore (trust me... i noe), its no prob i think.
yup yup, n xiang n i will be shareholders =)
saw an interview on tv once, on a successful young 'enterpreneur' (a lady in her early twenties) who'd opened another 2 or 3 successive branches from her first boutique/shop (forgot selling wat) that thats how she'd first started her shop- wif a couple of frens too.
yup yup.
thats my aspiration n back-up plan for if i fail to reach my original goals i think (choy! its still good to get a degree even if i intend to branch out of the normal working line). together wif xiang's future pub cum restarants n my boutiques, we will be invincible.
lolx~!! ;p
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 1:49 AM
Sunday, November 02, 2003
current mood: loved
my sis so sweet arh...
told her i cried cos i was so stressed jus now.
then she drew n pasted lotsa post-it notes around my room...
awwwwwww.... 6_6
love her to bits~!!!
yup. n glo was cheering me up over the net...
really appreciated.
din noe she could be so sweet...
lolx~ =p
yup, a new start from now.
gotta pia like there's no tml liao!!
eh... or shd i say, for a brighter tml??
bleeeaaaah, watever.
yup yup.
current mood: loved =)
hai... gonna miss my sis when she goes to china...=/
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 3:14 AM
Saturday, November 01, 2003
Fucking 'A's
xiang.... =(
ian....
so stressed...
so sad....
feeling so helpless, so stressed, so depressed...
*cries*
'A' level is one week away...
n i havent accomplished anything.
dun even have the heart and concentration to study.
but i noe i dun wan to fail.
there's no where else i can go or am interested to go other than uni.
but i cant study.
mum n lyn going china on mon.
there goes my emotional support...
wat am i going to do when my sis goes??
at such a trying period of my life too.
a level sucks.
no one should have to go thru this shit.
its the fucking worst torture u can sentence anyone.
fuck.
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 11:15 PM
