[ The Memories ]
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Spring
It will be midnite soon so an early Happy Chinese New Year to all of you~!!! X)
May the ang pow takings be great this year!! Lolx! ;P
Finally did some new year's clothes shopping ytd after my facial (its free! n its very very good... unfortunately i had to sit n listen to the consultant tok n persuade me to take up their packages for a good half an hour or more after that. oh well, there's no free lunch in the world. nevertheless, i din sign up. lolx! yay to smooth exfoliated skin! ;p ). So at least now i have some spanking new clothes to wear n my mum n sis can stop nagging me.
Xin chun ying xin nian, xin yi ying xin nian. Lolx!
(New spring to welcome the new year, new clothes to welcome the new year =P )
Spring-cleaning has been one big workout this year. Body still sore from all that lifting and lugging. And this evening's new year's eve reunion dinner (too much food as usual) has only made me more lethargic.
Hmmm... hope there're good shows to watch tonite, dunno how to shou shui otherwise.
Isn't it ironic that before i've heard of this chinese tradition where children stay up as late as they possibly can on new year's eve nite in the chinese belief that it will bring their parents long life, i had stayed up all nite n only go to slp when its nearly dawn, being the nite owl i am/was. But now that i know about this tradition (only like since sec. 4 or so, from my more traditionally-chinese frens), intentionally staying up late has gotten to be more a chore?
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 10:15 PM
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
More January babies
Happy Birthday Glory dear~!!!
Sweet 21~!!!!
Heh heh, tot i'll honor u with this whole post.
Hope u have a happy year ahead =D
Love ya sweetheart! :)
Ah Muarckzz~!!
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 10:09 PM
Monday, January 23, 2006
Phee, phie, phoe... Phone?
I'm such a procastinator its scary!
n just when i tot i'm past my days of being nua... i guess i'm not after all.
I'm supposed to have 1) gone new year clothes-shopping (yes, i haven bought any CNY clothes yet!! This is the first year my mum is actually more nervous than me bout my not having any CNY clothes to wear!!), 2) gone swimming/tanning to get a little glow so i dun look like a pale flabby sow for new year, 3) packed the stack(s) of all the diff lecture notes that have accumulated on my desk over the past month or two.
And i've achieved none of the above!!! Horrors!
And there's the obligatory new year spring-cleaning to do. (Not being ambitious here...i'm only toking bout my room.)
Have jus re-arranged the books on my bookshelf last nite (yes, books only, i'm not so crazy as to touch my mountainous, fear-inspiring collection of comics so late at nite... can look forward to sleeping at dawn if i'm to pack or re-arrange them) to make way for all the new books i've gotten for my birthday presents and the books i've acquired in the past few months but had haphazardly stacked on top of my desk (yes, the same desk i use to stack all my untouched lecture notes... now u noe the activities, or lack thereof, i've done on my study-desk... i.e. studying) in a manner not unlike the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
Ok, all fine and dandy and long-winded, but thats not the pt of this entry anyway.
The point of this entry is my search for a new handphone.
Am deciding between 2 phones which has very recently caught my eye... the Nokia 7360 from the Lamour series and the stylish unisexual Nokia 6111.
Nokia 7360
Very pretty rite? Certainly appeals to my estrogens (pink! gold! female!). Yes yes, i'm very into gold rite now (think: my gold bag, gold slippers, gold acessories). But aesthetics aside... Practically, its abit rectangular for my everyday carry and use. And its functions are obnoxiously basic!! I can deal with its having no Bluetooth as long as i can still use my earpiece, but NO CAMERA and only a 4MB built in memory... its a joke man! Its such a dissapointment because i cant remember the last time i liked a phone's design this much and hankered after it, only to discover its such a letdown functions-wise.
Nokia 6111
...and how it looks like when slid close.
Its reviews online have been very good. Its sleek and stylish design certainly appeals to both male and females. And its functions and camera clarity isn't bad at all. It certainly has the wow factor if used in public, especially the one in black (as seen in the pic above).
And nowadays, i do prefer slide phones to flip phones. Imagine... ya phone is ringing and by the time u curse n swear n run thru half the belongings in ya bag n finally found ya phone n flip it open, saw the person on the caller ID and was jus placing ya finger over the answer button to press it... but all of a sudden it has reached it max ringing time n the line goes dead. WAT THE FARK?!!! Pple with flip-phones, little patience and even shorter tempers will noe wat i mean (i.e. me).
By the way, have i mentioned that if there's one thing i can't stand (other than alarm clocks) that will really get me riled and totally pissed off, even more than having to wait for a person when he/she is very late and more than getting stood up, is when i call a person and the person doesn't pick up and they dun even bother with a follow-up msg or call with believeable/acceptable reasons or excuses for it!! It really gets me riled up man.
I mean, if i call u it must be for a reason rite? It may be for the occasional chitchats when something suddenly comes to mind (in which case maybe i'll get mildly annoyed if its some impt gossip/event i wanna talk about or plan for, but all right if the person in question is a very very close fren whom i noe is pretty deaf in nature, i.e. i can only think of one of my best buds who's like that so the rest have totally no excuse nor immunity from my annoyance).
It may be for urgent stuff i'm asking on behalf of my mum/dad or sis or any extended family or frens or even myself that i need an immediate answer, for which any late follow-up calls (if its really urgent, i dun even bother with msgs usually cos sms replies can sometimes takes long minutes or hours which are crucial -.-) are next to useless anyway since i wud either have already gotten wat i wan myself or thru other sources, or i've probably failed doing watever i needed to be doing at any rate for which no amount of 'sorries' matter.
Or in the worse case scenario, if its smth absolutely urgent/crucial/horrendous in nature, should accidents or poor tale have happened to myself or the person in question, and i cant for the life of me get in touch with the person after numerous calls (think bombing of phone 30-over times or until the hp's missed calls number shown on its display reached its max of 99 and no more), or still am unable to reach that person after contacting several other pple (like, think 10 other pple and above, though 3 others will get me sufficiently crazy already), and that is when no particular effort or words of apology can get me to reconcile with the person till the way we were before.
Yeah...
anyway, i dun have much things on my hate list. But if there's one, its absolutely that -- not having my calls answered or returned, esp. if its without a follow-up call to apologize or explain satisfactorily afterwards. U may have been on the phone, have some commitments on hand, be with pple more important to u, and i can be very accomodating usually, but handphone off or battery dead notwithstanding, as long as u're not sleeping/bed-ridden/sick/in the office or sch/in impt functions un-befitting the presence of an on phone in the beginning/meters or seconds away from meeting me, i feel that most pple shd at least have the courtesy to ANSWER THE PHONE AND TELL ME U'RE BUSY how and will call me back!! I dun like being overlooked or taken for granted as much as the next person u noe?
Ok, long digression aside, lets get back to my original topic before my blood pressure gets raised somemore and i lose track again.
Yup, the two dream phones i've already mentioned (with the prospects of my getting the 7360 slimmer and slimmer as i skim thru all its mediocre functions and inclinally-bad reviews online now...) will probably only come to pass if my dad is agreeable to forking out lots extra mooola more when we re-sign up for a new 2year-plan (with or without trade-in, cos both our phones are worth peanuts...and again, i dun mean the $600K kind). I've also checked out some of the alternatives if we were to go for the free or cheaper phones (i.e. pay less than 100bucks for).
Samsung E350 (in black n silver)
(in silver)
Abit chunky, camera clarity not as good as 6111 of cos, but functions-wise quite all right... better than Nokia 7360 actually (any phone with more than basic functions wud beat 7360 actually -.-). Poor substitute for Nokia 6111, but as cheap phones go, it'll do. In fact, if my dad's not buying the Nokia 6111 (note how i seem to have already excluded the Nokia 7360 in the course of this lengthy entry?), i'll prob get this phone, more value for money.
And the ultimate cheapo phone at $0 with a 2year-plan...
Samsung X660
Basic functions and only 8MB of built-in memory...
Wonder which phone i'll get in the end eh?
Depends on how deep my father's pockets go i guess...
Ang pow money dun count cos i already have plans for them, heh ;p
Which phones do u all like? :)
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 7:50 PM
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
January babies
Happy 21st Birthday Yi En (17th January) and Hanxiang (18th January)~!!!!
Ah Muarckzzz!!! X>
Heh, wat are the chances of two of my good frens having their birthdays one day after the other? Its a conspiracy to kill me with all the birthday preparations effort i tell you. But heh, seeing all the smiles n looks of surprise makes it all worth it. Really.
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 11:43 AM
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Birthday Bangs! Food oh glorious food!
Since i promised myself that i wud not be lazy this year and blog my birthday celebrations (its my 21st birthday afterall), i shall make a vague attempt at it. Mind u, its not total recall tho... this year's celebrations have dragged on for so long (even by my usual celebration days standard) that its not even over yet, and i doubt i'd even be able to dreg up partial recall of most of the details...
Ok, here goes... in chronological order.
The week started pretty mundane, with me even half-suspecting i may be spending it rather peacefully at home with my family (our usual birthday celebration) and a day out wif xiang only. Ironically, while that has been my wish for the past couple of bdays (which din go according to my wishes, though maybe thankfully), i had hoped this years's celeb wud be abit more... happening. Its my 21st afterall.
Well, the exact day of my bday's on Sat, 7th January.
The msgs start pouring in on Tues.
After loads of planning, i've finally spreaded out my "eating schedule cum bday celebrations" wif most peeps... heh heh.
Wed...
Met Vivian for a nite out and early dinner at Coffee Club Express.
Chosen that place cos i was craving for their Muddy Mud Pie... haha. (It was yummy by the way, and their seafood marinara spaghetti in white wine sauce is to die for!)
Thurs...
Sch whole day, so... Rest. Make more plans.
Fri...
Dim sum and chinese buffet with Xiangling at the Orient Ocean Restaurant at Mirama Hotel~!!!!
Dim sum buffet man... Oh. My. God. If i haven started to feel my age, having lunch at that restaurant then totally made me feel like an adult (ok, i am, so wats my point u may be asking). I mean, most of the places we've usually celebrated our own birthdays or frens' birthdays at till now has been the usual teen hangouts - Swensons, Jack's Place, Marche, Fish & Co., Cafe Cartel, Jap restaurants, dessert eateries, cafes and other similar Western-food decked places being the norm... and even if we were to go for a chinese eating place, it'll be Crystal Jade Restaurants kind, or the typical zhi char with ya family or relatives... but DIM SUM BUFFET IN A HOTEL??!
I feel almost like a taitai man... Lolx!
n thats when the stark truth of my age comes crashing down on me...
fark, i'm really gonna be 21 soon.
Its def not the first time i'm having dim sum buffet... It may be the place we're eating at (i.e. a hotel), or the ambience of the restaurant that makes the whole affair feels really formal... but i think most of all it was the company - somehow having dim sum at a hotel one-on-one with ya best fren is diff from having the same lunch/dinner with ya whole family, where u noe the one footing the bill will def be ya parents (thanks again for the treat gal, if u happen to read this).
This whole dragging-ourselves-there-for-a-dim-sum-buffet-in-a-hotel affair has a certain grownup touch to it.
At any rate, any of u who intend to celebrate ya 21st birthday in a very appropriate 21st birthday setting can try having it there. Regardless of who's paying, trust me, it'll make a very memorable 21st birthday meal.
Chilled out at a bar at the hotel lobby after that... where we promptly set out to unwrap her many presents she has given me during lunch (but haven opened)... and inevitably attracted many i'm-too-polite-to-look-but-man-wats-the-world- coming-to stares with our (or rather, my) very public displays of attention =p
Two gals slobbering all over each other at a hotel lobby, wat the fark has the world come to, cant they even wait to go upstairs to their room??!
Lolx!! XP
Ok watever, haha.
Went downtown to meet a few other frens from the BT gang before taking cabs down to a bar in Railway Mall. David n my sis joined us when we reached.
And was the countdown a surprise this year...
Becos it was late!! Lolx!
As usual, we've come to expect the usual antics at each others birthdays... the 'secretly' getting the pub/bar/restaurant's cooperation in playing the birthday song/ karaokeing the song/ bringing out the birthday cake at the stroke of midnight. (As u can see, it has turned into such an old trick that it cant be considered a 'surprise' anymore... only an act of good-will, lolx. =p )
But... the time came n pass without much ado - with hugs, kisses, well-wishes n cheers, but none of the usual fanfare.
Haha... as it turns out, the liveband was taking their break and had totally forgotten. Jus as i tot midnite was over and was settling comfortably into our usual drinking slouch... the liveband started crooning the birthday song... at 12.40am, lolx!
Anyway, the crowd was quite frenly there n a few tables came over to cheers.
The boss (who by the way, was quite charming in a scholarly way, or how u wud imagine the bar owner in a TV drama serial wud look like) came over to offer his well-wishes and opened a bottle of red wine for our table (a nice birthday gesture, considering that aside from them, i was a first-time customer there).
We left near closing time and after we saw the rest of them home in cabs (tho it was a friday nite, most of them still had to work the next morn), the remaining four of us (xiang, david, lyn and me) took a cab down Bt. Gombak for the very famous carrot cake there (ok, very famous in the context that everybody who had tried it so far says its the best damn carrot cake they've ever tasted).
After all xiang n i had eaten at the buffet, we were surprisingly ravenous...
After a very full supper of porridge and carrot cake and a lot of crapping (somehow everything seems alot funnier and laughable when u're in an intoxicated state, lolx!), we finally headed home.
Sat...
Sis went out to buy my birthday cake early noon.
The coffee cake from Bengawan Solo i've been craving a taste fot since when i first realize my bday was approaching. *smack lips*
Both mum n sis bought back a mountain of food (even repetitive cos they din noe wat each other was getting, though thankfully no second bday cake, haha).
Me? I washed n cooked rice. Lolx! =P
After the usual family birthday fanfare (birthday songs, making wishes, blowing of candles, photo-takings, cake-cutting), we settled down to an early dinner of loads of fried food... my birthday, my fave foods. And nobody to nag me to eat lesser of it. Aahahahaha~
Sun...
Rest... and DIGEST.
Mon...
JAP BUFFET at Suki Sushi with Hanxiang!!!
Suki sushi used to be our gang's hangout eating place during sch days where we wud partake in the occasional guilty gluttonious pleasures. That was back in the time where they weren't so popular n their prices had not yet sky-rocketed n poor students like us were very willing to pay $12.90 + GST for our occasional monthly indulgence (now? for 13bucks? u wish! or rather, i wish).
Haha, jap food was originally my first choice when i had to decide wat i wanted to eat n where i wanted to celeb for my various birthday celebrations. Therefore, i msged and replied everybody i wanted to eat jap food... and promptly got four jap food dates. Lolx!
Haha, thankfully i was able to spread them out nicely to satisfy my cravings for other foods hence the dim sum buffet n others.
The soft shell crab... calamari... unagi... oysters and scallops in melted cheese...
*drools at the thought now*
Ok, enuff said.
Tues...
Rest... and DIGEST.
Wed...
Dinner at Cafe Cartel with Huishi and Ashley~!!!
Satisfied my craving for their seafood macaroni...
*thinks of the cheesey sauce* oh man...
Took loads of pics... some of them (of myself) are so disgusting that while its funny to look at them and laugh, it'll certainly look too porn to put on my own frenster profile... Lolx! XP
Thats wat u get for hanging out with those crazy gals... they bring out ya inner porn star, lolx!! =P
This has been a long entry... yawnz.
Its now Sat/Sun, the end of the week, but apparently not the end of my bday celebrations yet.
And there're so many January babies still to celeb for... and CNY...
Gluttony... thou art not a sin except in the mind...
If only i can hypnotize the world into believing this too. Or my body's fats into thinkin each drop of oil is an Extrim-X pill...
Ok, its late and i'm not making sense anymore. May come back n edit any nonsensical parts later on. Haha =p
//
Heh, thanks for the pressies darlings~
And for all the well-wishes pple =)
This year's haul has certainly satisfied the bibliophile in me (i got nearly all the books and more than half the things on my wishlist) and my love for bling blings and pretty stuff :)
Really really like them alot pple! Thanks~!!!
Ah Muaaaarckzzz~ =>
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 4:30 AM
Saturday, January 14, 2006
My say...
Erm.... blog wars are amusing....
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 4:19 AM
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
I aced a sec 2 math quiz!!
Hohoho... considering i dun have time to blog wat am i still doing online?
Haha... i promise i'll give *a summary* of my birthday celebrations when everything's over, but for now, dun take away my (current) addiction for blogging and doing innane quizzes, lolx!! ;p
Got this from a link - www.blogthings.com - from vivian's blog, she's a Fantasy Lover!! Oooh~ i'm so blown away... Lolx!!
(oops, maybe i shdn't broadcast it to the world =p but wat the heck, since i'm so thick-skinned as to publish my own quiz results, i must brings someone else down wif me!! ahahaha~ )
| Your Seduction Style: Au Natural |
You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it.
That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!
The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism.
You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world.
Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in.
You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?
You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways.
Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you.
As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you. |
Your Seduction Style: Ideal Lover
|
You seduce people by tapping into their dreams and desires.
And because of this sensitivity, you can be the ideal lover for anyone you seek.
You are a shapeshifter - bringing romance, adventure, spirituality to relationships.
It all depends on who your with, and what their vision of a perfect relationship is.
|
| You Are 70% Boyish and 30% Girlish |
You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.
Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.
You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.
You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be. |
| The Keys to Your Heart |
You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.
In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.
You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.
Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.
In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted. |
| You Are a Boston Creme Donut |
You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you.
But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft.
You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily.
You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and pout if it's sold out. |
And then i saw this quiz wif the title "Could you pass 8th grade maths?" and out of a morbid curiousity (morbid becos everybody noes how maths is my si3 xue4/ death accupunture point), i went to click it...
And died at the second question.
2) -7 is...
* Irrational
* An integer
* A whole number
* A prime number
(choose one)
..........-.-""
Nevertheless, i heroically tried to finish the quiz (i.e. attempting innie-meenie-minie-moe wif that qn, which by the way i put the answer "Irrational", lolx)...and got the results...
| You Passed 8th Grade Math |
Congratulations, you got 8/10 correct! |
wahahahaha~
its been donkey years since i got 80% on a maths quiz, ok?
Ok... for most of u who've already noticed... yes, 8th grade is equivalent to our Sec. 2 or 3 maths... and yes, i'm an undergrad... but lets not go there.
Wahahaha~ =P
Point is, i jus aced a maths quiz!!!
Lets jus end on this note shall we? ;P
Lolx!
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 2:31 PM
Saturday, January 07, 2006
21st Birthday
Its my 21st birthday peeps!!!
Heh heh, thanks for all the msgs n well wishes!
So much plans still n so much to update, shall update again when i've time :)
Thanks alot peeps~!!! =)
//
Erm... i'm hope i'm not too late in saying this...
but PLS DUN GET ME BOOKS for my birthday present le ya..??
I noe i've written them in my wish list n stuff... maybe thats why i've gotten like, two of each titles now... yar... but good thing the problem's 'solveable'... *winkz winkz ;p*
Hope i'm not being too presumptuous... jus scared that u all will only waste money if i already have them... have already taken down from my wishlist the stuff that i've already gotten.
Sorry... hope i'm not being too difficult.
Haha, anyway, to all the pple i've yet to meet (you, you, you n you!), we will meet soon!! xD
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 3:57 AM
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Tree, Leaf, Wind
I have jus read a blog by chance (fren of a fren's) and have come across a very touching story he had posted on his blog in three parts - Tree, Leaf, Wind - to build suspense. Some of u may have already read this story in ya forwarded emails before, but as i havent, its quite a novelty for me.
To be touched this way.
The funny thing was, it was his blog template (like most of ours), presenting our entries in a chronogical order from the most current to the later dated, that has determined this turn for my reading into a slightly more different insight into the crux of the story's moral. As such, i'd read his last installment of the story first, followed by the second, and then the first installment last. At the end (or beginning) of it, i couldn't help feeling somewat... awestruck.
He did not meant for it to be presented in such a way i'm sure, as he'd merely reproduced it from a forwarded mail, albeit cleverly in three tentalizing installments. But the overall result was that it had the effect of totally changing the moral of the story. And depending on which installment u read first, it'll either leave the overall feeling of triumph n inspiration, or regret (as in my case, having read the first installment last).
To more exactly convey my feelings so that u may understand how i was feeling at each point when i was reading them from start to finish, i shall duplicate the order of those installments here in the exact order that i first read them in...
Re-read it the other way round after that to catch the original gist and moral behind the story if u will, but i cant help thinkin that this particular order that i chanced upon to read was somehow more... thought-provoking.
Enjoy.
//
Wind
Because I like a gal called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust of wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfered to the new school. I saw a petite person looking at us playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends looking at him. When he talks with gals there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit.
Just like she likes to look at him.
One day, she didn't appear. I felt something amissed. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. He wasn't around as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw him scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him.
I walked over and smiled to her.
Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accepted the note. The next day, she appeared & pass me a note and left. "Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away." "It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree." I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls.
I knew that she doesn't love me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never gave up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over.
I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her.
Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope. Hoping that one day she will agree to me my girlfriend. During one phone conversation I asked her again once more. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?"
She said, "I'm nodding my head."
"Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears.
"I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly.
I hanged up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & pressed her door bell. I hugged her tightly the moment she opened the door. But sometimes i couldn't help but wonder:
Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Leaf
During JC days, I like to collect leaves. Why? Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long it takes a lot of courage. During the 2 years of JC I was on very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt.
Jealousy.
The sourness in the heart can't be describe by using a lemon. It's more like rotten sour lemons a hundred times over. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 mths. When they broke up, I hid my strong sense of happiness. But after a mth, he got together with another gal. I like him & I know he like me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he love me why he doesn't want to make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt.
Time after time, my heart was hurt.
I begin to suspect that this is a one sided love. If he don't like he, why does he treat me so well. It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. Liking a person is very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But i can never figure out his feelings towards me. I coudn't bring myself to ask him about it straight. Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, love him. Hoping that one fine day, he will come & love me. Waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me sms. Hoping that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me.
Because of this, I waited for him.
The 2 years were the hardest to go through & I really wanted to give up. Sometimes, I wonder why I should continue waiting. The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompanied me for 2 years. Towards the end of my 2nd year, someone else begain to go after me. He would pursuit me relentlessly. From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart. He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree. In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind just a small footing in my heart. I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave far away & better land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smiled & didn't ask me to stay.
Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Tree
The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees. Over time I started to use a tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting. I have dated 5 gals when I was in JC. There's one gal whom I loved a lot but never dared go after her. She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure, doesn't have outstanding charm.
She was just a very ordinary gal.
But I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like her frankness. Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for me. I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her. I felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don't have to give up everything just for her.
The last reason, made her accompany me for 3 years.
She watched me chase after gals, and I have made her heart cry for 3 years. She wants to be a good actress but I'm a very demanding director. When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes were swollen like a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think about what caused her to cry but instead laughed at her the whole day. She was alone crying in the classroom after school. She didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get something.
I watched her cry for an hour or so.
My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she's not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend. I shouted at her and her eyes were filled with shock. I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she still laughed & joked with me as though nothing had happened. I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know that my heartache is as bad as hers.
When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out.
After going out for a day, I told her that I have something to tell her. She told me that coincidentally, she has something to tell me too. I told her about my break up and she told me about her getting together. I know who is the guy. He has been going after her for quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy, lively and interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of the school. I can't show her how my heart ached but could only smile & congratulate her. When I reach home, the heartache is so strong that I could't stand it. It's like a heavy weighted stone on my chest. I couldn't breath. Wanted to shout but can't. Tears rolled down & I broke down & cried. How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence?
During graduation, I received a sms. I cried again upon reading it. I haven't read it since then.
It said "Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay?"
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Moral of story: perserverence will triumph.
Moral of story: regret will follow if u choose not to follow ya heart.
Result of reading story in this order: u really really feel like socking the guy Tree. Both for his inane n supercilious handling of the gal's feelings, and his absurd rationale for not pursueing his heart. It almost makes his pain self-brought. (Isn't that the case though?)
Ok, enough with the griping.
Thats wat u get when u read this story in reverse order.
Read in in its original order if u wan a feel-good story that is more inspiring than it is provoking.
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 1:48 AM
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Al'mighty feasts!
Wahahahaha!!!
I plan on being very well fed this birthday~!!!
Oh my god. I'm going to turn out looking such a pig before the week ends!!! X)
Jap buffet... Chinese buffet... dessert eateries... the annual family feast...
n wat else?? Still planning... wahahaha~
This birthday week is finally shaping up! =]
Wats a birthday celebration without gluttony?? =D
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 10:15 PM
Monday, January 02, 2006
New Year's Resolutions
This shall be a short entry. Why?
One, cos i'm tired. Two, cos as far as New Year resolutions go, i'm not too ambitious bout setting (or fulfilling) many.
So, here goes...
1. To lead a healthier lifestyle this year and from henceforth (i.e. quitting/ cutting back on watever i shdn't be doing, eating, or drinking).
2. (Which is an extension of the first actually) To lose that 5kg i've been meaning to lose every year come this time (more if possible, but lets stick to realistic goals, haha).
As u can see, since i haven actually stuck to these similar resolutions last year, i shan't get too ambitious n make more goals with only half-hearted attempts at keeping them.
But arh! I jus thought of two more...
3. To study harder and pass all my exams this year.
*grimace* X/
4. To spend more quality time with my family and to cherish my frens more.
Yup, thats all folks.
Hope all of us will have a very happy year ahead in 2006!!
=D
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 2:18 AM
