[ Me ]
Nickname: Ursula
Birthday: 7th January 1985
Zodiac: Capricorn
Where From: Singapore
Laidback, sensitive, fickle, easily-tickled, fiercely loyal
Manga and anime lover, enthusist, collector and critic/ Coffee lover, addict and expert maker/ Aspiring future wife of famous culinary chef/ Aspiring future wife of a 1.8m tall hunk
My Friendster link:
http://www.friendster.com/vivis
[ Likes ]
Sleeping, dancing, books, manga, anime, chocolates, coffee, Jap food, Italian food, Ayumi Hamasaki, people, my sister
[ Fave Books ]
Harry Potter series, Artemis Fowl series, The Inheritence Trilogy series, The Da Vinci Code, Memoir of a Geisha, I Don't Know How She Does It... and all my comics n manga!!!
[ Currently Reading ]
Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell
by Susanna Clarke
Inkheart
by Cornelia Funke
The Well Of Loneliness
by Radclyffe Hall
Midnight's Children
by Salman Rushdie
Madame Sadayakko: The Geisha Who Seduced The West
by Lesley Downer
The Unbearable Lightness Of Being
by Milan Kundera
The Historian
by Elizabeth Kostova
[ The Wishlist ]
My Amazon.com Wishlist:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/ref=yourlists_pop_1/103-2401787-9502236
Phillips MC235 Thin Stereo Microsystem
Kathy Van Zeeland bag
(saw on amazon.com going for bout US$65... Why dun Singapore stock her goods??! >.< I wan it in Topaz colour~!!!)
The Lord of the Rings
by J.R.R. Tolkien
Inu-Yasha Theme Song Collection
12 Kingdoms/ Juuni Kokuki anime VCD sets
GUESS bag (darn, i dun have the $120 required to buy it now and i noe it'll be gone soon, Guess always changing their apparels every month or so u_u)
DKNY gold and crystal-studded watch (very ornamental, more a dress watch then an every-funtion watch. still, pretty~)
Mphosis pale gold SLIPPERS (i run through my shoes and slippers like they cost nth X/)
The BodyShop BLUSHER in Golden Pink
The BodyShop blusher BRUSH
Shiseido eyelash CURLER
Full-length wall MIRROR(s) for my room
A new big every-purpose BAG
Pretty SHOES
A Digital CAMERA
A bloody new PC or laptop with the speed of light and a gazillion GB of memory!! =[
The Sims 2 (PC game edition)
[ The Memories ]
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Through the sands of time again
Recently i've gotten to thinking - though its actually more of a sudden revelation that got stuck in my head ever since - that Uncle Tan was alot like a surrogate father to me in secondary school.
And not jus to me. To all of us who had been under him before, through watever P.E. classes, sports or after-sch programs. We look up to him, wan his respect, feel elated when we've been entrusted extra responsibilities, wan to live up to his expectations, wan to make him proud of us, and feel hurt when he's dissapointed. Since when have we started calling him Uncle Tan? Why not Mr. Tan? I dunno... its been that way ever since i can remember.
I noticed i'd unconciously refered to him in the present tense still. I guess his fatherly-figure influence is still resonant in my life. (Could he be the replacement father figure for my own inadequate father that i've subconciously sought? Thats argueable. Ok, enough with all that self-analysis b.s.)
And if Uncle Tan was my surrogate father, then Tom Chan must be the surrogate brother (and an insufferable one at that too) that i've always picked a fight with. The sparks (and i dun mean the good kind) that flew whenever we came face to face. The quarrels, the fights, the tears, the consolation, the reconciliation... its little wonder that people who've heard these anecdotes/stories when i relate them think we had something going on (it had happened more than a couple of times already, even with close frens whom *i tot* shd noe the truth).
He's also another teacher that i cant recall ever calling Mister, except the couple of times we were in company with other teachers (if n when i decide to give him face lar, which was rare, thats y i can't really remember more than two such occasions).
He was pretty young still (then lar, now old with the start of a pot belly le, but couple that wif his never-grow-old-jimmy-lin-zhiying kind of face, damn salar can??), and was a new addition to the sch when we were in Sec. 2 or 3, so that was another reason why i never quite felt he had the authority of a teacher.
Its still quite funny when i recall our fights then and how much i used to hate him. I felt then that he was the evil existence bent on turning Uncle Tan against me.
While Uncle Tan brought out the best in me, he brought out the worst in me.
And i hate that Uncle Tan saw this hostile and un-agreeable side of me when i fought with him. I lose his respect, i weren't that unique student he tot i am, i'm not special, i see his dissapointment and his anger at my defiance, and i hate Tom Chan even more becos of it.
Tom Chan was evil, and i never recall hating someone as much as i did then.
The fight in the car park as half the whole school looked on from their morning classes, the face-offs when he caught up during break/recesses, the retaliation and rebellion when i first knew he was going to take over our class for P.E. in place of Uncle Tan and when he became one of the teachers in-charge for basketball, the fights, the ensueing shouts and raised voices.
Did i hit him before? Did i even dare? I dun recall but i wun be surprised.
But then i had always known he wun retaliate. (Wat could he do? Make me run more rounds? So? I'm tough! Come on la! - ok lar, was tough then. Make me run half of wat i ran then and u'll get ya wish n see me in a hospital.)
That was all in the past of cos.
In the long run, he really was like a surrogate brother in retrospect.
The fights, storming to class in angry tears (omg, did i really cry in class for everybody to see??! I cant remember, i was too angry then), turning the class boys against him (seeing their cute classmate (moi, who else? Lolx =p) crying in distress will have that effect, not to mention Tom Chan was making it easy by trying too hard with the class as the new teacher), then as time went by, patching up and feeling guilty for making the class dislike him and tried to recompensate by taking the lead to tok to him and volunteer (I dun even remember when or wat was the turning point. But maybe crying once too often in front of him makes it easier to go look for him when i have problems. Since i'd already let down my armour in front of him, there was no need to put up a front. And for his part, he had not let me down yet; though imperfect, he had always been generous with his time and resources), and looking for his opinions during and even after i graduated from secondary sch.
I guess, there's never a certainty with the chance meetings wif people in ya life and no unchanging hate or love.
Isn't that always the case?
//
Reality check:
Wat business have i to keep living in the past when exams lie in my very near future??!! X/
+ Ursula r e m e m b e r s again + 2:16 PM
